Friend Thinks New Mom’s Plan To Try Breastfeeding Her Adopted Child Is ‘Weird’

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Becoming a parent for the first time is so exciting, especially for moms or dads who are adopting and anxiously awaiting the chance to meet their baby. On one hand, it’s understandable that some people in this situation try to enjoy as many of the same experiences as birth parents as possible, but some may not take it as far as one woman’s friend. This new mom who is determined to breastfeed her adopted baby.

As the Redditor explained, her friend has struggled to get pregnant for years.

Reddit

It’s been hard for the OP to watch, she admitted in a post on the Am I The A–hole subreddit.

So we're sure both the OP and her friend were ecstatic when she announced she was going to adopt a baby girl.

“A girl a few cities over is eighteen and pregnant and has reached out to Facebook adoption groups in the area and they connected," she explained in her post. “The baby is due in December.”

Her friend told her, “she’s excited to finally have her miracle baby.”

But the OP noticed something strange on her friend’s baby registry: Breast pumps.

“I asked her why. She said that she and her doctor put her on lactation inducing medication or something along those lines and she’s been pumping everyday three times a day and she’s been able to produce some milk,” the OP wrote.

Her friend is hoping that by the time the baby is born, “she’d be able to produce enough milk to breastfeed.”

The OP was stunned. Is it even possible to breastfeed an adopted baby?

“The idea was just so foreign to me,” she admitted. “I didn’t know medication could make you lactate.”

It’s important that she have bonding time with her baby, her friend explained.

And she swore that other adoptive moms told her that breastfeeding was totally normal.

“I told her it’s a bit odd to me, but I’m happy for her and she said I was making something natural weird,” she recalled. “I said it’s not natural though and I didn’t meant to shame her and she called me an a–hole and hung up.”

Some people thought the OP should have kept quiet and let her friend breastfeed.

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"[You're the A–hole]," one commenter wrote. "When you say 'that's a little weird' what you are really saying is 'that isn't your baby' and she knows that. It's an opinion, know when to keep them to yourself."

"It's fine if internally they were like oh that's different, but it's one of those thoughts that should have been kept to themselves," someone else commented.

"It's a 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' kind of thing," a third person agreed. "I got the impression they don't even have their own kids so they especially don't know anything about it."

A few people saw the point the friend was trying to make.

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"[Not the A–hole]. It’s totally weird. I’m just surprised you said it out loud lol," one person wrote.

"I didn’t know adopted mom’s could take medication to lactate and produce milk, either," someone else admitted. "So I’d be curious about it, too and maybe thrown a little. I wouldn’t say it’s weird like bad. But weird like huh, weird. I didn’t know you could that. Cool.'”

While a third person didn't mince their words: "NTA it’s weird, sorry," the Redditor wrote. "I get she wants to bond and that’s great I hope she does. Being an adoptive mother isn’t easy. You said it was odd but also said you were happy for her. Just because somethings odd to you since you don’t have much knowledge of it doesn’t make you an AH people need to learn to grow up and stop viewing everything as an attack with ulterior motives."

At this point, the OP should focus on apologizing to her friend who was probably looking for a little support — not opinions — when she shared her plans to breastfeed. Is it weird to breastfeed your adopted baby? Maybe you wouldn't do it, but that doesn't mean it's OK to judge if that kid is going to be loved and properly cared for? So mend the wound, OP, and know for the future that you need to be very careful before talking about how someone else parents.