Asiah Holm, a musician and former teacher is sharing an important conversation she had with her students on social media. Throughout the school year, her students would reference her husband/boyfriend in conversations with her. However, she never confirmed their assumptions.
Eventually, she got tired of them assuming she had a male partner, and revealed that she had a girlfriend. What followed was a truly positive conversation. So she posted it on social media. But then school administrators told her to take it down. She did, but she knew that she was being discriminated against because she’s a lesbian.
She reposted the video in celebration of Pride Month.
“I’m being brave and re-posting this video that I was asked to take down last year,” Holm wrote on Instagram.
In the video, she tells her students that she doesn’t have a husband or a boyfriend. At first, they’re silent, so she reminds them that there are “more options” than just husband or boyfriend.
“If I don’t have a boyfriend…” she says, and a student replies, “a girlfriend!” Another student asks, “You’re a lesbian?!”
“I’ve known you for three years and you’ve never told me this,” one student says.
After that, comments begin flying at Holm from all sides. “You don’t look lesbian,” one kid says, while another chimes in, saying “How are you lesbian? You’re so pretty.” Multiple kids said that she doesn’t “look” or “feel” like a lesbian, which is understandable if kids haven’t been exposed to many lesbians.
“There is no such thing as ‘looking like a lesbian,’” Holm reminded them.
The comments were overwhelmingly positive.
“If gay and lesbian couples aren’t allowed to talk about their significant others then I demand straight people need to stop talking about theirs,” one person wrote.
“If any of my teachers had come out like this, it may have given me courage to as well instead of waiting 20 more years,” a different commenter wrote.
“I had to pause the video because i started crying at the student said ‘i want to see if she’s as nice as you.’ that’s so so kind and endearing and i love gay ppl and teachers and also being a lesbian teacher. i teach preschool rn so these convos are so much more… abstract & fleeting,” a fellow educator wrote.
“Good for you! How are they supposed to learn diversity if we don’t teach them how diverse we all are? It’s not indoctrination, it’s education and we all need it,” a commenter who identified himself as the father of a bisexual son wrote.
Asiah Holm used the experience to inspire her next chapter.
Holm spoke with Today about the backlash she got after initially posting the video in 2025. While she had previously posted videos from classroom conversations on social media, school administrators quickly asked her to remove this one.
“I asked them why, and all they said was that I’m free to share my thoughts, but I shouldn’t post videos from my classroom because it could upset families,” Holm explained. “That’s when I knew it wasn’t really about posting or not posting a video, because I had done that so many times in the past, but really it was about the content.”
The experience inspired Asiah Holm, who has left teaching and is pursuing a music career in Vancouver, to write a new song called “Love is Love.”
Ahead of the song’s release, her partner suggested she re-post the video of her talking to her students. “Absolutely not,” she initially thought, but then she “took a leap of faith” and shared it.
“I’ve had a number of really beautiful messages from those parents thanking me for having that conversation with the students,” she said.
And as for where she stands now? “I’ve had my voice taken away so many times in my life. I thought, ‘Not this time.’ I’m done silencing myself.”
