We all know that making new friends in those awkward tween years can be tough. But what we rarely talk about is the silent struggle of making new friends as an adult — and especially as a new mom, who may have entered motherhood at a different time than her regular friends.
One mom on TikTok has an interesting theory about why finding mom friends you actually click with can be so hard, and it’s going viral for sharing a lot of truths.
The clip was posted first posted by a TikToker named Annalee (@annaleegrace15)
Then there's the third circle — which proves to be the most elusive of all
That circle represents the rarest of the rare moms: The Unicorn Mom Friend.
This is a mom who you’d already be friends with on your own, who has kids the same age as you, and who happens to live in close proximity, making playdates and hangouts a total dream come true.
Think you found yourself one of these? Then BOOM — you have hit “the unicorn mom jackpot,” according to Annalee.
There's just one problem, though: It hardly ever works out this way
“Either you love someone and you’re in different states or you love someone and they have different [aged] babies,” Annalee explains.
Or, it all matches up and is great — until your unicorn up and moves away and you have to start all over again at the beginning.
“If you’re thinking of someone in your head that is your unicorn, text her right now and tell her how thankful you are for her,” Annalee urges. “It is incredibly rare, my friends. Incredibly rare.”
In response, a lot of moms couldn’t get over how accurate this all was
“You nailed the theory!” one mom wrote. “Still looking for my unicorn and my kids are teenagers.”
“I feel this in my soul,” commented someone else.
“Spot on,” added another.
Others noted they’re still searching for this rare kind of mom friend — if she even exists.
“Still waiting for my unicorn,” one mom wrote. “Or honestly any of the circles.”
“I never had any of those, let alone the unicorn,” another shared.
“Just wanting my bus stop mom friends to turn into real friends that actually hang out cause I don’t go anywhere else and they are friendly,” someone else chimed in.
However, a lot of moms said they'd found their unicorn, and even tried to offer tips
“I found my mom friends by putting my kids in sports!” one mom shared.
Others said they rely on family to fill in the gaps — from sisters to cousins to SILs — which prevents them from feeling lonely.
Annalee also told one user to consider trying the Peanut app, which helps connect local women at similar stages of fertility, pregnancy, and parenthood.
More from Mom.com: When You’re the Mom Without a Village
There were plenty of other moms who simply got lucky
“Mom friend hack: get pregnant at the same time as your other friends and then you don’t have to make new friends!”
“My best friend and I got pregnant three days apart,” one person shared. “And we live down the street from each other. And our husbands get along. It’s a dream.”
“My university best friend and I had babies 16 hours apart,” wrote someone else. “Both girls and our husbands are childhood friends.”
Naturally, that’s the dream, but it isn’t always possible. This is especially true for women who chose to have children either earlier or later in life, or those who encountered unexpected fertility issues.
At the same time, other moms started suggesting a fourth circle to add to the mix
In that case, all three other “mom friend” factors would align perfectly, with one noteworthy addition: each of your significant others would get along perfectly, too.
Now THAT’S what we’d call a true unicorn.
