When your children have an issue with health, behavior or learning, you want to do everything you can to help them feel better and be better. Most parents will take whatever information and advice they get from an expert and apply it to their child. People on Reddit are outraged at this dad who removed his child from speech therapy, after he took offense to the counseling the family received.
This story was shared by a dad, whose son started speech therapy about a year ago.
His wife initially brought the son to the therapist for an evaluation, and they were asked if their son used a pacifier. The parents told the truth about it, and now the dad says they were “stupidly” honest. According to the dad, the therapist suggested they wean the son off the pacifier.
The dad explains that his son once used the pacifier all day when at home, but now he’s only using it when he’s not in preschool wearing a mask.
“But honestly, he likes it and we didn't see that it was necessary to stop it,” the dad explained in his Reddit post. “I know there are potential dental issues but we’re not worried about that.”
On another recent visit to the therapist, there was more discussion about weaning the son off the pacifier.
The dad counts it as the fourth time the therapist mentioned the pacifier, and he says he’s had enough.
“My wife wasn't with me for therapy yesterday,” the dad explained, “but she is also annoyed that the pacifier is brought up so much (maybe a bit dramatic), so I thought she wouldn't care that I addressed it.”
According to the dad, the therapist apologized for offending him with the pacifier talk but still “had to plug in the importance of stopping the paci.”
Apparently, the dad felt the need to talk to the therapy center director.
“I ended up asking to speak with the director to talk about seeking another therapist because we're just not a good fit,” the dad continued.
The therapy center director was “very understanding” of the dad and his concerns, but she was on the side of the assigned therapist. She could find another therapist for the family but agreed that any therapist would also have the same suggestions regarding the pacifier.
So, dad took matters into his own hands.
“I basically withdrew my kid from therapy and told them I'd be bringing my business elsewhere,” he revealed.
Dad didn’t check with mom about withdrawing their son from therapy, and mom is not happy.
“My wife … wants me to go back there, apologize, and re-enroll our son.”
The Reddit poster refuses to re-enroll their son, writing, “We shouldn't have mentioned the paci but they don't need to harp on it.”
He ended with this: “Their job is to teach my kid how to say his sounds correctly, not micromanage our parenting. Am I wrong here????”
Now the dad wants to know if he’s wrong in this situation.
“Because the therapist didn't need to tell us a FOURTH time and she needs to not tell parents how to raise their kids.”
These Redditors had a LOT to say about this one and quickly weighed in with their thoughts.
Most people were in agreement about the situation: The son was in therapy for a reason — so the dad should respect the therapist’s advice.
“Why are you paying for an expert's help if you’re not going to listen to them?,” someone asked.
One young man offered an emotional response from his own experience. “Chiming in from the other side. Was allowed a pacifier for way too long as (apparently) I had ADHD and it was a way for me to soothe myself. At five is when my mom took it from me, only to tell me to suck my thumb instead.
"26 now, have had 2 surgeries, 5 years of speech therapy and am starting to struggle with a reoccurance/worsening of my speech impediment," the person continued. "Oh, and I get the mortifying experience of being so used to thumb sucking/pacifying that a decade after stopping, I wake up sucking my thumb in times of stress or pain.
"She was doing her job trying to help your kid while you undo all the work. Help your kid stop now while it's still easy, before it's ruined their mouth, their jaw, their speech any further," the same person shared. "My mouth hurts, I sound stupid when I talk sometimes because I can't speak correctly all the time, my tongue is now too large for my narrow teeth. I hurt. This is what could await your child.”
Someone else agreed. “Yes, every therapist is going to tell you to take away the pacifier. If your child wasn't struggling with speech, it wouldn't be as big of a deal.”
“As a parent of a kid who has been in speech therapy for 3 yrs,” another person shared, “my son did not become fully verbal till we went with him and threw all of them in the recycle bin.”
Another response came from someone who summed up the situation this way:
“I know people can be really judgemental about parenting and it's easy to feel attacked, but this dude's logic is really unfortunate.
- literature: pacifiers can cause dental problems which impede speech development
- therapist: pacifiers can cause dental problems which impede speech development
- supervisor: I'm sorry you feel attacked, but any therapist is going to tell you that pacifiers can cause dental problems which impede speech development
- kiddo: has impaired speech development
- kiddo: uses a pacifier a whole lot
- dad: why would you say these things only to hurt me.”
Plenty of speech therapists offered their take on the situation.
“Speech therapist here. Pacifier use is linked to dental issues which can impede speech development — important distinction though: speech vs language,” wrote one person. “Paci use doesn’t cause a language disorder. She didn’t harass you about it, she did her job.”
“I don’t know a single speech pathologist who wouldn’t have this opinion,” someone else chimed in. “I have even known fellow therapists that have declined to treat/referred patients (depending on the therapy type).”
Another person had an interesting opinion, writing, “As a speech therapist as well I am impressed she ONLY raised the issues 4 times in a year. That’s some great self control on her part!”
Overall, it seems no one had much sympathy for the dad.
It also appears there wasn’t much hope the dad would take any advice from the crowd.
“He won't respond to this or another post in an advice sub so he is probably just going to ignore all of this,” one person wrote.
“Right?,” someone else agreed. “Plus, he said therapy started a year ago and this is only the fourth time it’s come up. That’s not exactly pushy of the therapist, who btw, is doing their job.”
Another person also agreed. “And for saying he knows it can cause dental issues and not being worried about it! What kind of [expletive] person makes a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to not worry about causing physical pain and potential trauma to their kid!?”
The bottom line, according to almost all Redditors, is that the dad should reassess his parenting.
"He thinks his parenting is being micromanaged because he sucks at parenting," they agreed.
No parents like to be judged for their parenting, but doing what’s best for our children should come before our ego.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
