Meghan Markle had a lot to learn when she joined the royal family, but it sounds like she was still convinced that Kate Middleton was doing things the wrong way. This week, The Times published an excerpt from royal expert Tom Quinn’s new book, Yes Ma’am: The Secret Life of Royal Servants, and it’s pretty revealing when it comes to how Meghan really felt about Kate when they first met.
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In the book, which is filled with stories from royal staffers who spoke to Tom about the inner workings of the royal family, one palace insider said it was “never going to be acceptable” for Meghan to approach her role as the Duchess of Sussex the way she wanted to, lest she outshine the senior royals in doing so.
“Quite rightly, the Queen always had to be the center and focus of everything the royal family did and I don’t think Meghan understood why that would mean her doing things she didn’t want to do,” one of Queen Elizabeth’s former courtiers said. “She didn’t understand that when you join the royal family, you don’t do as you please, you do as you’re told.”
That also means she didn’t understand why Kate was always so quick to do what she was told – instead, she saw her as “just too eager to please, too much a goody-two-shoes girl.”
In reality, Kate just knew how to play the game after years of being a working royal, according to one former Kensington Palace staffer.
“Kate is someone who slowly and carefully absorbs the atmosphere of a place, the relationship between people and the rules,” the person shared in the book. “She doesn’t jump in straight away and try to change everything to suit her way of thinking. She bides her time and is very intelligent and intuitive about other people, what they do and how they behave. She was also coached – not just by William, who wanted Kate to avoid the problems his mother had encountered, but also by the staff.”
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By the time Meghan joined the family, Kate had developed rapport with palace staff at all levels, but that doesn’t mean she hadn’t been subjected to the same “snooty” gossip Meghan experienced when she and Harry got married in 2018.
“It was the same kind of backbiting gossipy criticism that Meghan had to put up with, but Kate is actually a much stronger person than Meghan in many ways,” the staffer said. “Yet what Meghan saw as Kate being pushed around, Kate saw as an essential part of being a member of the royal family.”
In the end, this may have been what first began the fracture in the sisters-in-law’s relationship.
“Kate’s view of Meghan was always implied rather than spoken, I think,” the insider continued. “It was that Meghan thought she knew better than an institution that had been in business for 1,000 years and more. Kate was never going to buy that.”
Now that Kate’s next in line to become the queen of England, it’s a good thing she’s figured out how the institution works, and Harry and Meghan appear to be happier in California than they ever were in the UK. Maybe Meghan was never meant for the royal life after all.
