Sex Confession: My Husband Doesn’t Initiate Sex Anymore

couple holding hands

"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Today's sex confession comes from Monica* who has been married to Aaron* for about seven years. They have one child and lead a seemingly happy life … except Monica doesn't think they are happy. Mostly, Monica thinks Aaron is unhappy with their sex life — their essentially non-existent sex life. Aaron never initiates. He doesn't display any interest in getting it on with his wife. He doesn't kiss her, rub her leg, or try to get her in the mood like he used to. Monica was the only one keeping their sex life alive by initiating but she's tired of it. So she stopped. And now there's no sex being had at all. Read on to hear more of Monica's story.

I love my husband. I love having sex with my husband. But it seems like he doesn't like having sex with me. I know I gained some weight after having our baby, but it's not a lot of weight. I fear that is what's keeping Aaron from wanting me, sexually. But when I've asked him about it, he tells me that he didn't even notice the extra pounds. And that's precisely the problem. I feel like he doesn't notice me at all.

He used to initiate sex all the time. We used to have sex almost every day. Then I got pregnant and it slowed down. Then I had the baby and bam! No more sex. I'm afraid he sees me as a mother now and so sex is out of the question. Did our child kill his desires for me? Will this lead to cheating or divorce? That's what I fear the most. I love him. I love our family. I don't want a divorce. I just want to have sex every now and then. And even when I ask him about why we aren't having sex, he brushes it off that he's tired and tells me he loves me. But I don't feel like he does. I just don't know what to do. Should I put on the lingerie and try more? Or are we doomed? I feel like I can't talk to anyone I know about this. 

What advice would you give this confessor?

*Names have been changed.

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