It's no secret that I'm slowly making my way through divorce and out to the other side again, which means one thing: everyone expects that I suddenly want to jump back into the dating pool. They're wrong.
But it's gotten me thinking about dating. Specifically, what dating with kids will look like (should I ever decide to navigate those murky waters) and how one goes about it.
I've poked around and come up with some tips on dating after a divorce with children (I plan to use these myself when I'm ready!).
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Most experts agree that introducing your children to a new partner should only happen once a romantic relationship is becoming serious. You don't want your kids to become attached to your flavor of the week only to have them experience the loss of someone they liked.
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Above all else, you should be honest with your partner about your children. If your partner doesn't like or accept that you're a parent, it's a clear sign that you shouldn't be with him.
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Be honest with your children about your new love. Kids can smell BS a mile away, which means you must do your best to make sure you can openly and frankly talk to them about your relationship.
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Tell your children that no matter what, you're never going to abandon them in favor of your partner. Dating with kids isn't an either/or situation – make sure they know this.
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Be enthusiastic about your significant other when discussing him with your children – let them know this person makes you very happy. Kids want their parents to be happy. Usually.
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Talk about what you'll all do together when you introduce each other. Plan a fun outing, be your true self, and make sure the activity is one that will make all your children happy.
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Accept that your kids may be slow to warm up to your new partner. If that's the case, don't push the relationship on them too quickly.
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Reassure your children that your new significant other is NOT intended to replace your ex — ever. This way, they don't feel as though they're put in the middle, having their loyalty to each parent tested.
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Accept that many kids hold out hope for a long time that their parents will get back together. When you've moved on to a new partner, the finality of your divorce becomes more real to your children, which may bring out feelings of jealousy, anger, and fear in them.
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Discuss your new significant other's role in your kids' lives with them so they don't think you're trying to push a surrogate parent on them.
Do you have any other advice for single parents looking to date?
Image ©iStock.com/Emir Memedovski
