In the early months of dating, we spend a lot of time searching for clues about the other person. He wears pink. Does that mean he's comfortable with his sexuality and open to all things? Or is he just preppy (or gay)? He opens doors for us. Is he a chivalrous, loving person or someone who thinks women can't fend for themselves? There are so many pitfalls, so many little we do that could take on "meaning" for the other person — justified or not.
Nowhere is this more true than when it comes to the gifts he gives us and we give him. Ask any new couple celebrating their first Christmas or their first birthdays together and you will hear about the ultimate new relationship conundrum: What can I give him that says what I want it to say about "us"? Equally important is this: What does what he gives ME say about "us"?
Good question — and we just might have the answers for you. Here are nine gifts men give and what each one means — about how he feels and what kind of person he is.
More From The Stir: 7 Types of Flowers a Man Will Bring & What They Say About Him
1.) Flowers: This can be a great gift, assuming it's not a birthday present or a gesture that comes too soon. A man who brings flowers on a first or second date might seem over-eager, one who sends them for every birthday and Valentine's Day not very creative or invested. But a man who brings home flowers for no reason at all is thoughtful, indeed.
"That's what flowers are, just a simple, easy way of letting someone know they were in your thoughts," writes John DeVore in The Frisky. "That's it. It's not complicated. Flowers announce: out of sight, still in my mind and heart."
We all want that man.
2.) Candy: This is a bit of a mixed bag. If you get candy for Valentine's Day in a heart-shaped box, it could mean he didn't have a lot of forethought and just grabbed what he could quickly. On the other hand, it might also be a sign he thinks you are sexy just the way you are. Whenever my husband gives me candy, I appreciate it because as much as I complain about my body, it's his way of saying he doesn't think I need to lose an ounce. That's hot.
3.) Jewelry: A man who buys jewelry for a woman is serious about her. According to E Harmony: "When a guy buys a woman jewelry, it usually means he is committed and in it for the long haul."
Now, let's just hope it's jewelry you like…
4.) A book: This is by far my favorite gift from a man, as it tells me two things: 1.) He reads. 2.) He wants me to read what he's reading. I once had a man bring me my favorite book (a better edition) on a second date. He's not the man I married, but to this day, it was my favorite gift and one of the most thoughtful I received. If you're a book lover, you know what I mean. A man like that is a keeper.
5.) Household appliance: It is one thing to give a household appliance after years of marriage. I would happily accept a standing mixer from my husband now. But early in dating, it could be perceived as insulting. Remember the movie Father of the Bride? Remember how offended the protagonist Annie Banks was by the blender her fiancé gave her? Yes. She overreacted, but it is a pretty bland gift. Unless you asked for one or there were some REASON for it, it's suspect.
6.) Lingerie: Men, beware. This is a gift that can get you into hot water. EVERY woman knows this isn't really for her. This is one for him, plain and simple. And unless it's practical AND pretty, lingerie isn't a gift many women want. It's also a bit of a cliche. To me, it says a man was not all that creative in his thinking about what to buy. It could also mean he sees you in one way — yes, that way.
7.) Something homemade: A man who offers you something he made understands that not everything with meaning needs to cost money. This bodes well. Personally, of ALL the presents I could get, this is the one I'd swoon the most for. Why? He put effort and time into something and a little piece of himself, to boot. On the other hand, if it's BAD poetry or a BAD song or some cheesy craft, well, that's not quite as great. In that case, the thought counts, but the quality might give you pause. Who wants to be with a guy who writes sappy, horrible poetry?
All that said, the truth is that some of this is really only true earlier in relationships. Some men are just bad at giving gifts, but that doesn't make them bad husbands. And some women are just bad at receiving them — but that doesn't mean they're bad wives.
Besides, once you've been with the same man for a long time, whatever he gives you will be special (within reason). After all, it's the thought that counts, right?
Did you ever get a really bad gift from a man?
Image ©iStock.com/4774344sean
