In every relationship, there are conversations that people know they'll remember forever: the first declarations of love; marriage proposals; and "I think I might be pregnant" come to mind as happy memories many couples share. But for some women, the conversation they'll never forget is the one they never wanted to have. Not every memorable conversation can be positive; we found real women who were willing to confess to us what the hardest conversations they ever had to have were — and some of them are heartbreakers.
More from CafeMom: 20 Women Reveal the Moment They Knew Their Marriage Was Over
We tend to think of marriage as our happily-ever-after moment. But the truth is that sometimes saying "I do" doesn't mean that the rest of our lives are all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes the most poignant moments in a marriage are when one person has to be vulnerable with the other, admitting a failing, a mistake, or even when that person needs help. This is the reality of marriage, and we found women who told us about the hardest conversations they had to have with their partner when the chips were down.
Read on to hear some of the sad, sweet, and sometimes shocking things that stand out as the hardest confessions and secrets these women, whose names we are choosing to keep anonymous, decided to share with their partners. They just might help folks have a hard conversation they've been avoiding.
"I Want a Baby"
“When my husband and I were dating we decided that we were going to be a child-free couple. We had big plans to travel and live like starving artists, which we happily did for five years. And then one morning I woke up and just KNEW that I had to have babies. I was so scared to tell my husband because I felt like I was breaking our vows, but I knew I needed to be honest because the feeling wasn’t going away. I finally told him and it took him months to process it, but eventually he decided that he wanted to have a new kind of adventure with me. We have a baby boy coming in two months.”
More From The Stir: Women Reveal the Grossest Habits of Their Spouses (PHOTOS)
"I Might Be Sick"
“I found a lump in my breast that ended up looking suspicious in the mammogram. Telling my husband that there was a chance of cancer was really hard and my usually level husband freaked out, especially because he couldn’t come to my follow-up appointment with me. I promised to text him from the appointment and he texted back: ‘When I get home, I am going to hug you for a really long time.’ We had a long talk that night, and he told me a lot of things about how much he loved me and how he can't imagine life without me. We've known each other for almost 23 years and been married for almost 17, so that kind of talk doesn't happen often. We tell each other we love each other, but the true, emphatic emotions don't really happen much anymore. But last Friday, they did. And I fell in love with him all over again.”
"I'm in Debt"
“My husband and I share our finances, but we each have a credit card of our own from before we were married. A few years ago I was pretty depressed from being in a job I didn’t like and dealing with some tough stuff with my mom. I ended up engaging in some — well A LOT — of retail therapy. I eventually maxed my card out and got to the point where I couldn’t keep up with the payments. I finally broke down and told him about it. It wasn’t an easy conversation, but we ended having a really good conversation about how I was so depressed. We eventually made a plan to both pay off the debt and to get me a new job.”
"I Have a Problem"
It was hard to tell him “how much I was really drinking. Been sober for 10 years now, though — confessing was the first step to freedom from it.”
"I'm Done"
My toughest conversation was telling him “that I was done and I wanted a divorce. As much as I love him and all the time we invested in each other, I couldn't live the way we were anymore. We weren't even friends. I told him that we have a child together and he will always be my family, but that my role in his life is done and I'm thankful for having had that role and for sharing all the years together.”
More From The Stir: Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Divorce?
"I Was Abused"
“The hardest thing to confess to my husband was the dark history in my childhood. It was so difficult to let that go; he made it so easy to talk to him and made me let go of the shame surrounding it. The second would have to be admitting that I loved him so much that it scared me. I never wanted to give a man such power over me in my life. Many women in my family were abused and mistreated by men, so when I told him how much I loved him, I warned him that it might kill me inside to leave him, but I won't repeat the cycle. It's truly terrifying laying your heart in someone else's hands, I've never regretted it though and love him even more today.”
"I Quit"
“After years of trying to get pregnant and battling infertility, it was hard to tell him that I wanted to quit. I felt like trying to get pregnant had taken over our lives and sucked the joy from our marriage. I was physically, emotionally, and financially spent. He was disappointed because he’d still really like a biological child but agreed to table it for at least a year. It feels nice just to have sex for fun again.”
"I'm a Red Sox Fan"
“I lied when we were dating because I wanted him to like me. But eventually I couldn’t hold it in any longer: damn it, I love the Red Sox! My Yankee’s fan husband wasn’t pleased, but I waited until we were married before I told him, so he is stuck with me forever now.”
"I'm Not Straight"
“The hardest conversation I’ve ever had with my husband was telling him, years after we’d married, that I am bisexual. And that I love him dearly and wasn't changing our marriage, but I had a little regret at letting society make me feel ashamed and not exploring and spending more time with women. It's been so helpful to be able to openly talk and fantasize about it together. He told me he still felt secure in our marriage and he's actually been super supportive. He even encourages me to read dirty lesbian novels alone to get excited!”
More From The Stir: Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Marriage?
"I Need Help"
“After being so excited to have a baby, it was hard to tell him that I was suffering from post-partum depression after our baby finally arrived. I felt like I should be so happy, but I just wasn’t. When I finally broke down in tears and told him, he was so supportive and did everything to get me the help I needed.”
"I've Had Bigger"
“Well, let me tell you the confession I should NEVER have made: that he was not the biggest or best I’d ever had. Drunken confessions don’t end well.”
What was your most shocking confession?
More From The Stir: 8 Scientifically Proven Tips for a Better Love Life
