No decade did big quite like the '80s. From neon blue eye shadow to the famed mullet hairstyle, there were plenty of mortifying beauty trends we'd be better off forgetting if they weren't so hilarious to look back on.
So while we understand that "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," these 20 beauty trends were epic fails.
Image @ ABC
Colored Mascara
Maybe she's born with it. (The green, blue, yellow eyelashes.) Or maybe it's Maybelline.
Big Hair
The ultimate '80s motto: bigger is better, especially with hair. Don't forget to finish off the masterpiece with a can of Aqua Net.
Blue Eyeshadow
Lots of it. All the way to the eyebrows. There was also yellow, green, and red shadow if that was more your speed. Bonus points if you coordinated your colored mascara.
Baby Oil
How else would the '80s gal achieve her bronze glow? Dermatologists everywhere are weeping.
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Rat Tails
There really are no words.Ā But if we were going to describe it, this thin chunk that hung down the back of the neck looked exactly like a rat's tail (hence the name).
Sweat Bands
Best kept for the jazzercise class. On second thought — don't. There really is no acceptable place to sport a sweat band.
Hot Pink Blush
There was no such thing as subtlety when it came to the 1980s, especially when it came to hot pink or dark red blush.
Side Ponytail
Bad hair day? No problem. Whip those locks into a bad-ass side ponytail, high atop the head for full effect.
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Scrunchies
These fabric-covered elastic hair ties were the perfect complement to the side ponytail.
Mullet
The iconic hairstyle for the '80s man. Admit it, you dated at least one guy who sported the mullet.
Dark Lip Liner
Celebs like Madonna loved the dark lined lip look with or without lipstick. After all, why should your eyes have all the fun?
Feathered hair
Girls wanted to be her. Guys wanted to date her. Everyone wanted to channel their inner Farrah Fawcett with the feathered coif.
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Flat Tops
If your man wasn't sporting the mullet, he may have been more the Vanilla Ice type, opting for the flat top style (complete with parachute pants or perhaps a pair of overalls).
Press-On Nails
Back in the 1980s we didn't have a Jade Nails on every street corner. Luckily, there were press-on nails: quick, painted talons to suit every big occasion.
Crimped Hair
Girls across the country fired their curling irons by crimping their hair (and destroying their locks in the process). Texture is good. Crimping to achieve the frizzed-out tresses, not so much.
Huge Earrings
Door-knockers. Neon Plastic Hoops. Feathers. Dainty they weren't. Let's just call them statement pieces, shall we?Ā
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Mood Lipstick
How we loved our tubes of green glory that ever so subtly turned to a deep shade of burgundy as the day went on. Genius.
Dark Rimmed Eyeliner
Call it the "smokey" look of the '80s, but the thick black eyeliner on the bottom of your eyes was all the rage, and instilled fear in parents everywhere.
Huge Hair Bows
What better accoutrement for big hair than big accessories? Stars like Madonna and Rosanna Arquette wrapped up their manes with giant tulle bows.
Perms
When it came to perms during this decade, poofier was better. Just take a look at Dolly Parton's bountiful bouffant.Ā
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