In my dating life, I've been broken up with for the following reasons: being a Democrat, being "too needy," refusing to perform oral sex (I was 15!), and hanging up on a guy who was playing video games while talking to me on the phone. Ouch — that one hurt. Are there no lows guys won't go to when it comes to breakups? And while I know one has to kiss a lot of frogs, can I say again that I am SO happy to be married and not have to date anymore?
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When it comes to brutal breakups, misery loves company, so I asked some of my friends to share their worst breakup stories. And, whoa, did they deliver. These fearless ladies described tales of woe, despair, and just plain bad behavior. What is it about ending relationships that can turn even the most decent man into a teenager? Don't worry, ladies, as anyone can see from these trifling tales, these guys should be considered dodged bullets. Take a look at our list of the worst and most cringeworthy breakups. I think #11 is going to make everyone feel better about all of their bad relationships. Click on — this one has to be read to be believed!
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Image via iStock.com/Martin Dimitrov
Ugly Breakup
"In high school, a boy had his friend dump me. His friend came over and said 'Marco doesn't want to go out with you anymore because we all think you're ugly.' OUCH. What a little asshole." — W.R.
Mean DJ
"My ex was cheating on me with the ex co-host of the local morning show. She bad-mouthed me on the radio. No idea why. I didn't know who she was and had never said a thing about her, but apparently she didn't like me!" — C.H.
Just Cruising
"First serious boyfriend post college. He went to work on a cruise ship about a year into our relationship. Fourth week there he called me from port (which was the only two-hour window a week we could talk) and broke up with me." — K.D.
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The Point System
"In college I had been dating this guy for maybe a couple of months. We were out to dinner one night and he started in with 'I think we should talk …' but the next thing out of his mouth was, 'I have this 40-point rating scale for women.'
He went on to explain how the 40 points were assigned, how different people we know rate, etc. What it boiled down to was that I was a 29 out of 40, which on his scale was 'datable, but no long-term potential.' He thought we should just get that out of the way so I'd know where I stood and would understand that if he came across a 35 or something he'd want to break up.
He was seriously super confused about why I then broke up with him. He kept reiterating that he didn't want to break up. He just wanted me to know the relationship wasn't going anywhere. He didn't see ANY reason why we couldn't keep dating." — K.L.
Bad Timing
"I broke up with my high school girlfriend on graduation night. At the all-night graduation party. I was done with high school and that relationship. Not my best move.
The right choice, just not the right timing." — P.P.
Ghosted
"I was ghosted once. Finally called him and left a long message about how I agreed we should break up, but it was so stupid and immature (he was six years older than me) of him to just stop communicating with me. He called back to apologize and then we ended up making out a few times over that summer when we ran into each other at parties. We worked best that way. Ha!" — K.H.
Bullet Dodged
"I dated a guy during the summer of my teen years and he went away to basic training in the fall. A year later I went to college within six hours of where he was stationed. We had written letters over the year but nothing more than fun. We decided to reconnect and began talking daily on the phone. After meeting up and having an amazing weekend together, I was thinking Wow, this is intense. I'm really falling for him.
I never heard from him again. Never. After failed phone calls, I wrote a letter (back when people did that) and still NOTHING.
A decade later, thanks to social media, I saw he was married with kids. One child possibly an age that would have timed out to have been born about a year after our fling. By chance, I ran into someone who randomly knew him and said he had settled down and had a child back then and then he ran off and left her high and dry and joined a biker gang?! What was once a heartbreak mystery clearly became a bullet dodged!" — E.S.
Jerk Timing
"I had been dating a guy for about eight months. We were supposed to go to a huge party to celebrate my nana's 80th, my aunt's 50th, and my dad's retirement from his band, which was playing that night. It was two days before Christmas. It was a blizzard. I sent him a message asking if he still wanted to go and he said yes. I drove to his place and sent a message to tell him I was there. He asked me to come inside, then broke up with me.
So I drove to the party in a blizzard for two hours, sobbing the whole way, and it completely ruined the night." — A.F.
Perfect Partner
"My friend hooked me up with one of her fellow med students. I was kinda fresh out of another relationship and wasn't really looking to meet anyone. Well, we actually hit it off and were going out regularly, but it was still fairly new. We had dinner plans one night and he came over to pick me up and out came, 'I think we should talk …'
He sat down in a chair and said, 'You are perfect, but I don't think we should see each other anymore.'
Huh? Of course I said, 'I'm confused,' and he assured me it was him and not me. Okay, needless to say he left, and I was baffled. For weeks I kept wondering what I had done or what went south? Weeks later my friend called me up and told me he had recently come out and was openly gay. In the end, he was a great guy and I hope he found his PERFECT PARTNER." — C.S.
Jail Bird Breakup
"Well, he called me from prison to tell me that he was breaking up with me in order to get back together with his baby mama. Getting dumped by a guy in jail really makes you think about your life choices." — K.W.
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Heartbreak in Mexico
"My ex and I were supposed to teach in Mexico, and I went first while he settled things in Minnesota. So he was going to join me in 30 days. Well, it was a really hard transition for me as I didn't speak Spanish and my stomach couldn't take the food. It had been a month and every time I called or emailed my ex was busy it barely responsive. Finally at the end of the month, he decides to tell me he is not coming and breaking up with me and had been cheating while I was there! It was the most devastating moment of my life." — R.M.
The Plane
"I was seriously dating a guy for a year and a half, I knew he had a ring to propose to me. Then he took me up on an airplane tour of the city for my birthday, so I thought for SURE he would propose during the flight … but instead, he broke up with me the next day!
When I asked him why he gave me such an elaborate birthday gift only to break up with me the next day, he said it's because it was already planned for a while and he didn't want to put out his friend (the pilot)." — M.O.
Hit It & Quit It
"A guy that I dated for a few months broke up with me pretty much immediately after we had sex. We did the deed, I took a shower and put on one of his T-shirts. I climbed into bed and he gave me the old, 'It's not really working out.'
I had to get up and get dressed and leave his house in the middle of the night. It was so humiliating — he totally knew he was going to dump me before we slept together for the last time. Asshole." — A.H.
