Whether you call it "hooking up," "Netflix and chill," or the good old-fashioned "one-night stand," research suggests that having a no-strings-attached sexual encounter is becoming increasingly socially acceptable.
I can't help but wonder what hooking up means to us. Is it just for fun and feeling good? Or is there some deeper emotional meaning behind getting busy without being in a relationship?
Because I'm super nosy, I asked some of my girlfriends to spill the beans on what their one-night stands meant to them. A glass of wine later and the confessions started. Read on for the candid truth about why women hook up and how they really feel about it.
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The Downside
"The only downside to a one-night stand is that most times, one party wants to do it again. If you both do, it's no longer in this category and so irrelevant. If you do and they don't, you feel rejected. If they do and you don't, good luck getting rid of them. If you don't hear from them at all, you wonder why not?!" — J.W.
Beach Hook-Up
"I've only had a one-night stand once, but it was fun and I have no regrets! I went on a girls' trip to the Bahamas before I was married and hooked up with a hot guy who was there for a bachelor party. I don't even know his last name, but we had an awfully good time on the beach that night!
I don't think it means anything. It was just part of the fun of being hot and 23!" — S.F.
One-Night Stand Fail
"Nine years ago, I TRIED to have a one-night stand with a 6'7'' hottie and failed. Two kids later and he is still here." — L.D.
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It Is Freeing
"One-night stands are great! It's fun when you both know it's just physical and you don't have to deal with any relationship BS. It's very freeing and you can really be yourself." — J.C.
Friendship Wrecker
"I had a one-night stand, fueled by booze, with a guy friend. It ended up being 10 minutes of blah, awkward sex and then our friendship was never the same afterwards. Totally not worth it!" — K.N.
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Dial-a-Date
"I was a virgin when I got married, so I never had a one-night stand when I was younger. Now I'm divorced and I'm not ready to date yet. But I still like and want sex. So a Tinder hookup is perfect sometimes. Last night, my ex had the kids and I had wicked insomnia. I connected with a guy on Tinder and he was over in 30 minutes. We had sex and then I was able to fall asleep. It was as easy as ordering pizza!
I think wanting sex just means that I'm human and I have needs. It isn't that deep." — J.J.
Bad Sex Is Pointless
"The thing about hooking up is that if the sex is bad, the whole thing is bad. Like, in a relationship, if he can't get it up one night, no biggie. There will be other nights and you can just hang out and do other things.
But with a one-night stand, the sex is the whole point. So if he, true story, turns out to be impotent, you're just kind of mad that you wasted your time. But as a woman, it feels like you are still supposed to be polite about it. Screw that. I'm here to get laid!" — E.S.
A Mistake?
"Yes, sometimes one-night stands can be a mistake. But I think mistakes are valuable. Having bad sex or awkward sex or whatever helps you figure out what you do like, and that is so important." — M.H.
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Cry Baby
"Having some one-nighters has taught me that it isn't just women who can get overly emotionally attached via sex. I've had some stage five clingers! The worst was a guy who told me the next morning that he had been a virgin and then he started crying because he felt 'so ashamed.' Moral of the story: Be really clear about the expectations going in." — B.H.
Not for Me
"I've had one or two one-night stands, but I've realized they are not for me. Emotional connection is too big a part of sex for me. I get burned trying to 'hit it and quit it.' I just can't help but hope for more." — L.N.
Lasting Impact
"I had a one-night stand right after college. It felt like a pretty no-strings-attached kind of thing, but then I found out that I was pregnant.
I ended up making the smartest choice I could, which was to have an abortion, but it was a real reminder that you can't just assume that a one-night thing will stay a one-night thing." — R.E.
Personal Revolution
"I had my own personal sexual revolution in my 20s. Consensual sex in fun, adventurous situations is amazing. I have had a handful of one-night stands and it was always fun and never sad or disappointing." — S.K.
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