When's the best time to have sex? "Whenever you can" is the short, obvious answer. But there is another, more scientifically supported one — and we don't think you'll guess it.
In the evening, right? After the kids are asleep, the laundry's folded and put away, and alllll your work emails are finally answered?
Nope.
In fact, "whoever decided couples should have sex at 11 o'clock at night was an idiot," says Michael J. Breus, PhD, a clinical psychologist with a speciality in sleep disorders and author of The Power of When.
"You need certain hormones like testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, cortisol, adrenaline, oxytocin, and vasopressin to become sexually aroused, and all of these are actually low in the evening," Breus explains. "Your body's bio rhythms aren't urging you toward any physical activity or amorousness, but toward sleep."
Is your lackluster sex drive starting to make perfect sense now? Don't blame late-night TV. But let's back up here a moment.
See, your brain has a master clock and its rhythm is established by both biology and hormones. You're already aware of this concept if you call yourself an "early bird" because you spring out of bed in the a.m., eager to go for a run. It's a REAL thing. You're not crazy.
In his new book, Breus breaks down these categories of what's called "chronotypes" even more. But regardless of which one you are — although you should find out because it's pretty fascinating — the time most human beings SHOULD get busy for maximum pleasure is … in the a.m.
Men wake up with erections for a reason, after all.
In fact, "72-73 percent of when we have sex is about convenience, not really desire or connection," Breus points out. "There's nothing wrong with that, but if you're looking for more meaning and passion, you've got to go with the flow in terms of your hormones."
Plus, sex during the day FEELS different, Breus says. "The lights are on, there's no alcohol involved, there are lots of different factors that are useful … It gives everyone license to try something new."
Did we mention the bonus of "afterflow rhythm"? "Sex is a great way to begin the day, physically, mentally, and emotionally," says Breus.
It boosts circulation. Ups your mood. Keeps levels of your "stress hormone" in check and super-charges your immune system.
So maybe it's time to rethink "Date Night," already. Instead of a romantic dinner and wine with your partner, opt for a long Saturday morning in bed. Your internal clock (and sex life) will thank you.
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