When I look back on my adult life, I feel like my 20s was the decade marked by engagements. I met my husband, fell in love, and got a shiny rock for my ring finger and so did most of my friends. My 30s were the decade of babies. I had two of my own and went to countless baby showers. I'm turning 40 soon and it seems like a new life phase is starting — the divorce decade.
Thankfully, my marriage is pretty stable. We have our moments, of course, but so far we are making it work. Not all of my friends have been so lucky, and it seems like every few months I hear about another couple we know separating.
Having seen several friends go through the divorce experience, I know that most of them have gone through tons of emotions along the way — fear, sadness, anger, and grief all seem pretty normal. But I've also been amazed at the post-divorce bounce back that I've seen. It seems like once the divorce is finalized, many women are ready to celebrate starting a fresh chapter in their life. And why shouldn't they? After all, in some cases they've made a decision that will ultimately improve their lives.
I talked to 15 recently divorced women and heard even more stories of ways to celebrate life after divorce. Read on for some real-life divorce inspiration!
New Hair, New Me
"My ex had this THING about women with short hair. He always made snarky comments about women with short hair. The day we finalized our divorce, I went to a salon and got a pixie cut. I looked fierce! And knowing he would have hated it made it even sweeter." — Renee M., Chicago, Illinois
Trip for Three
"I celebrated my new life as a single mom by taking the kids on a trip to Disney. My husband never wanted to travel so it felt good to make a decision for myself to have this experience with the kids. It was a new start for all three of us." — Jasmyn B., Ann Arbor, Michigan
Just for Me
"Our divorce took for-freaking-ever to get resolved. We fought over every stupid thing. It was toxic. I didn't handle myself very well. I was so angry. Once it was finally over, I knew I wanted to make sure I never acted like that again or let someone else make me crazy like that. So my celebration was a tattoo of a symbol that means calm waters." — Shannon E., San Antonio, Texas
Fresh Start
"I spent the weekend after my divorce was final giving myself a fresh start — I started the process of changing my name back, met with a financial adviser to talk about rebuilding my money situation, and [began] throwing away a bunch of stuff associated with my marriage that didn't make me happy anymore. I felt ready to face a new start." — Bianca W., Thousand Oaks, California
Ready for It
"I'm totally petty. I celebrated by getting some cute pictures taken and setting up my profile on an online dating site. Did it happen to be a site where I knew he was on? Well, yes. Was that on purpose so hopefully he'd see it and realize I was looking to bone someone new? Also YES. #petty." — Olivia T., Phoenix, Arizona
Cheers to Friends
"My ex and I had a 'we're divorced' dinner party and invited our bridesmaids and groomsmen. We felt like it was a good way to show that even though we weren't staying together, our marriage had meant something. Not everything lasts but that doesn't mean what we had didn't count." — Blaire D., Palo Alto, California
Friend Time
"My best friends were awesome. They booked a cabin in the woods and we had a lot of wine, laughs, and tears. I felt loved by the girls, even when I was feeling very unlucky in love with my marriage over. It was a good, low-key celebration." — Mary Jo K., Edina, Minnesota
Meet Pedro
"I celebrated my post-divorce life by moving a new man into my house. His name is Pedro and he is a very good boy. My ex never wanted a dog (should have taken that as a sign!) so it really felt like a sign that I was moving on." — Heather H., Grand Rapids, Michigan
Talk It Out
"It sounds like a weird way to celebrate, but I count it that way. I started therapy after my divorce was finalized. It was something I wanted to do just for myself. I wanted to make sure I'd really looked at my own stuff before I started dating again." — Dylan R., Topeka, Kansas
Mom Love
"My mom, whose been divorced twice, gave me a whole divorce care package, which included a long weekend at the beach for me and my daughter. It was nice to be babied and on the receiving end of mom love. It was a quiet celebration." — Ashley F., Tucson, Arizona
Fresh House
"I celebrated the fact that I got the house in the divorce by getting rid of every possible trace of my jackass of an ex. My best friend came over and helped me paint and fill a dumpster with all of the crap he didn't take when he moved out. The house felt like mine for real after that." — Cydney N., Fort Worth, Texas
Burn It All
"I celebrated my divorce the traditional way — I got totally sh*t-faced and burned our wedding pictures in a bonfire. It wasn't elegant or classy but it was a fitting end to a trashy, messy marriage (we both cheated). I woke up the next day hung over but feeling 178 pounds lighter." — Name withheld by request
Next Chapter
"I took stock of my life after we got divorced. I had a baby. I'd never really lived on my own. I guess my celebration was to sign up for classes to go back and finish my paralegal degree. My husband didn't support me doing that so it felt like something I could finally do, my next chapter." — Kendra H., Inver Grove Heights, Minnesota
Over Him
"I decided that the best way to get over my ex was to get under someone else! I had a fling with a hot trainer from my gym. He was way too young for me but it was the perfect way to feel myself a bit, you know?" — Becky S., Boise, Idaho
Va Va Voom
"I got new boobs! It was both a way to make me feel sexy again after feeling like a frumpy mom for the last 10 years and a way to make my ex totally regret leaving me. He was a boob guy who always wished mine were bigger. Well, they're bigger now and you can't touch 'em. Sucks to be you!" — Irene S., St. Paul, Minnesota
