I Don’t Give My Husband Enough Credit & You Probably Don’t Give Yours Enough Either

As I hustle through my daily routine, I find myself frustrated with all of my responsibilities. I wake up, feed Sawyer, and give him some one-on-one before we start our day. I then attempt to make myself presentable, while I still manage to entertain a rather persistent toddler. As I scramble to pour my coffee and pack our bags for the day, I run out the door praying that I have on two of the same shoe.

I am racing in to daycare, only to break away from the grip of my sobbing baby boy, but I don’t have time to console him because I am usually left with just enough time to get back across town to work. I get to work only to find myself constantly beating the clock, just to get off and start my second shift as mommy. It seems like I no more than get home with Sawyer James than I am bathing him and putting him to bed. We never have enough time as mothers it seems, yet we have more than most anyone else in our children’s lives.

When I finally get to see my husband after his (12+ HOUR) day of work and a tiring commute, I see now that I do not thank him enough.

Many nights, I have found myself secretly resenting him for not having been the one to have to rush through their day to be two people. I have been mad for having to be the one who had to discipline Sawyer after that meltdown, or clean the kitchen after he got in the dog's water bowl for the fifth time that day. Is that bad of me, or does that make me any less of a wife or mother? NO. I know we all have these feelings, but it wasn’t until recently that I had begun to recollect all of these previous grudges I had once felt, and try to redirect my frustrations.

Between scrambling an egg one-handed, three episodes of Paw Patrol, and getting to talk to Sawyer while I get ready in the mornings is exactly an hour and a half longer than my husband gets with our son every day. Not to mention the two hours I get with him at night after I pick him up and before he goes to bed. (Jamie leaves by 6:30 and is usually home around 7:30 at night). I was so busy doing my mom duties that I missed the fact that Jamie didn’t get to see the funny face that Sawyer made when he tried sour candy for the first time, or feel how proud he was when he learned to clap. It’s these little milestones that get embedded into our memories FOREVER, and I am so grateful that I only have to miss the minimum amount of these. On the contrary, my husband forfeits many of these opportunities to work the hours he does that allow us to have the life we do.

I had a mother tell me the other day that she and her husband both worked night shift, and all of her friends and family worked days.

In saying that, their daughter had to go to daycare for three hours in the evening and then spend the night/some of the next morning with whoever could keep her. The amount of instability and lack of routine made my heart bleed out for this baby girl. I believe that it was in this moment that I realized just how lucky I was. That mother in particular would have LOVED the time that I get with my son for her family, but she has to make the decisions she does in order to make ends meet for her lifestyle. I am so fortunate to be able to get the time with my family I do, and still be able to work in a profession that I love. My husband puts in his efforts in order to allow me to turn around and be a great mother. Blessed is an understatement.

I have always told Jamie that if Sawyer could score us as parents, I hope he would always think to give us a 10/10.

With saying that, I am grateful that I have my husband to help even out our score because I know I am not always a 10 on my own. However,  when I am performing at a 6, he is a 14 and we balance back out. As humans, we all have our moments of frustration and resentment; we get to have off days. The key is to reflect before that becomes your permanent state of mind. Stay optimistic in your roles as parents because we are all doing different things for different reasons, and remember that all of our children deserve for us to always be a 10.

So moms, next time you are complaining about the fourth dirty diaper you changed today, take a minute to be grateful it was YOU who got that time.

At least you know that everything you took out of the diaper bag, got put back in its place! The time we get with our little ones is invaluable, and it may just be me, but when I am with him there is no place I would rather be.

This post was originally written by Kaley Lee of In Mother Words and was republished with permission.