Unfortunately, forever doesn't always mean forever. No one seems to know this harsh lesson better than wedding photographers, who have seen all sorts of wild and crazy behavior while on the job. Now, some wedding photographers are sharing all of the secret ways they've learned to tell that the couple that says "I do" may not be the couple that stands the test of time, and some of their answers are flat-out surprising.
Well, honestly, it's surprising that they can tell at all, but what their dishing actually all makes perfect sense.
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Many photographers agreed that they knew the couple was doomed if they caught one person in the relationship flirting.
In a thread on Reddit, the photographers shared the clear signs they saw that made it absolutely obvious that the betrothed couple was never going to last. Almost all of them agreed that if they caught either the bride or the groom flirting, it was a sure-fire sign that the relationship was toast.
"The groom winking at both my assistant and I during the ceremony," one photographer shared. "He was not winking in the sense that he might have been tearing up or had something in his eye but there was a part in the ceremony where the couple sat down and he would lean his head back in his chair look past his soon to be wife and wink at me or look over his left shoulder and wink at my assistant. It was bizarre."
Another wedding photographer said she's seen some shocking behavior on the dance floor. "Booty-grinding with members of the opposite sex during dance time," the photographer wrote. "A little raunchiness in the spirit of good times is quite common, but sometimes the level of flirtation is so shocking I wonder if that dude and the bride are old flames, or maybe about to light one in the nearest bathroom stall."
Many photographers said they could tell if a couple was going to stay together by how they treated their wedding cake.
"I swear that all of the couples that have split up have smashed the cake in their [significant other's] face," shared one wedding photographer. "None of the nice cake couples have. Just my weird anecdotal experience. Maybe it’s a sign of respect for each other."
"Photographer here: to me the biggest sign is the cake cutting. Some people like to smear the cake everywhere as a joke, some people don't. Usually the couple is in sync about this," another photographer agreed, writing that this was weirdly a thing. "hey know what the other would like and they don't smush cake on the others face if they wouldn't want that. Sometimes one of them (usually the groom) will force cake all over the others face and embarrass and upset them. I've seen this happen a handful of times and all of those relationships that I have kept up with have ended in a divorce."
A wedding videographer also chimed in, saying there's just something about cutting the cake that shows a relationship's true colors.
"I’ve found that the microcosm of how the couple feels about each other comes usually comes out during the cake cutting. If they’re drinking then they’ve usually had a few by that point and it’s a moment when everyone is watching you do something potentially awkward with your new SO," the Redditor wrote. "When I see a new bride or groom aggressively smush cake into the other’s face I usually feel like that’s a strong sign of an unbalanced relationship. Sometimes they’re both having fun with it and you can tell it’s cool, but most of the time you can tell that the person with cake on their face is either shocked or angry about it."
Some pointed out that a bridezilla can really ruin the vibe of the big day.
"Former wedding photographer here. I had a woman in for a quote, pretty standard stuff," the Redditor commented. "After we had discussed style, length of coverage and such, she says, 'and if you make me look fat, I will sue you.' I laugh, but she doesn't. 'I'm serious. I have a lawyer on retainer. I need a photographer that will photoshop any photo that I look fat in.' I politely declined, she got p—ed and left."
Another photographer added that it's not good if the bride doesn't turn to her future husband to make decisions. "I think another red flag is if the bride constantly went back to her parents to consult or complain about challenges or issues that popped up instead of talking it out with her groom, it was a bad sign. It's possible that couples who do this can change, but it has always been a red flag if either of them is too attached to mom and dad's fixing their problems rather than working on it with each other."
Also, a fake bride is never a good bride, as this photographer pointed out: "Brides having bridezilla meltdowns and screaming at bridesmaids that they're [expletives] then posting my images months later all, 'Best day of my life! Couldn't have done it without these girls!'"
Many photogs wrote in that if the groom just didn't seem into it, it was deeply telling.
As one photographer shared, it's never a good sign if "one of them is very unhappy to be involved." If the "person doesn’t want to be at the contract meeting, get the engagement photos done, etc. It’s very obvious that he or she doesn’t want to be there and thinks it is a waste of time."
Another one added that it's bad if a "bride and groom spend the whole reception separate. Loads of grooms go missing, and we find them off smoking/drinking elsewhere."
"One common red flag was the groom's attitude toward the whole wedding," someone else chimed in. "If it was just about getting plastered with his buddies, that's a huge red flag."
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But almost every photographer agreed: If the couple treats each other with respect and can roll with the punches, they're definitely going to last.
"It was pretty easy to tell which couples were going to last and which ones would soon be divorced," one photographer shared. "The main behavior differentiating the two was whether they were on the same team, helping each other and lifting each other up in the face of the inevitable problems and stress that come with weddings. Good couples tackle problems together. Bad couples take sides and fight/blame each other when something goes wrong."
Someone else agreed that if both were happy to be there, everything ran smoothly.
"When a couple mutually respect the others wishes and compromise," the person commented. "Both present at every meeting. Supportive and patient. Friendly and respectful of staff. When you can tell they are both relieved to see one another again and its like no-one else is there … its like an unspoken conversation with each other and makes me smile."
One wedding photographer might have put it best: "How they treat each other, what is said to one another and how they act. But if they go into to the marriage thinking that it’s just gonna be a trial, it’s not gonna last.
"Weddings are a great day but what happens after that day is what’s really important," the person continued. "To be successful in marriage, takes a lot of work, a lot of forgiveness a lot of patience and a lot of love. Unconditional love. That’s the real key."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
