TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains information about stillbirth and infant loss, which may be triggering to some.
One bride-to-be is having a hard time putting her foot down with a family member over a sensitive topic: The person asked to put a picture of their stillborn baby on a table at her wedding to honor their little one. The woman shared that she wants to have a memory table at her reception for pictures of family members who have passed, but she isn't loving the request from her fiancée's cousin, who reached out and asked them to include "a photo of the baby's face, post-stillbirth, as the tribute." Is she wrong for wanting to say no?
Although the bride is happy to accommodate part of the request, she explained that it's the type of photo her family member wanted that is creeping her out.
Although it's not unusual for some couples to honor the memory of those who have died as part of their wedding celebration, the bride explained on Reddit that this wasn't a typical case. She wrote that her fiancée's cousin miscarried last year and the baby's due date would have been on the same day as her wedding.
"The problem is they want to have a photo of the baby's face, post-stillbirth, as the tribute," she continued. "Not only do we think it's a pretty shocking and upsetting picture to have on display at a wedding, but we have two pregnant women in attendance at our wedding, one of whom also miscarried very recently."
She clarified that they are open to accommodating other ideas but are worried about how her new family will react to them refusing their original wish.
Online, people seemed to agree -- putting the stillborn's photo on display would be upsetting and possibly triggering.
"That’d literally be a picture of a corpse. WTF," one commenter wrote.
"You are trying to honor the fetus's memory. Doing so in a manner that you find tasteful is your prerogative. It is your wedding," another person wrote.
And a third person agreed, "Morbid and also triggering for those who've had miscarriages," the person wrote.
But some commenters could see the cousin's side and thought the bride was overreacting.
"A stillbirth is not a miscarriage and the photos they take of those stillborn babies are peaceful, not gory," one commenter explained. "They usually look just like little sleeping babies. You would be unreasonable and rude to reject that photo, and if you didn’t want to remember death, you shouldn’t have planned a remembrance table."
"If you're allowing pictures of dead relatives in general you can't ban just one," another person wrote. "How about instead flowers or candles with each individual's name on one table?"
"If you can’t have a photo of a baby that’s passed in the family then be fair and have no photos. As a mother of a stillborn baby at full term, that baby mattered just like the rest of your dead family members. Don’t shame them because it’s a dead baby," another person wrote.
The bride later wrote that she was hoping they could have "a simple plaque with the baby's name and a message." But it's unclear if she took the next step and cleared the air with her family member.
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