Weddings can bring the best and worst out in people. It is a time when you learn who is truly in your corner and who really only thinks of you as an accessory to their life. But sometimes wedding "politics" can get a little tricky, and one bride-to-be is torn over what to do about a bridesmaid who won't lose "enough" weight by her big day. She's considering firing her from her bridesmaid duties, but isn't sure if she is in the wrong for doing so.
"My bridesmaid and I have been friends for a long time," the future bride began. "She’s always been on the heavier side..."
"…but for the last few years, each time I see her, she’s put on more and more weight."
The bridesmaid went on to explain that the bridesmaid's mother is obese and has "countless health conditions" because of her size and weight, and the bride is concerned her friend is headed for the same fate. She claims she's asked the bridesmaid to join her at the gym countless times, even though the friend often opts out later, and she says she even comes over and cooks healthier versions of her favorite food and goes for walks with her.
In spite of all of that, her friend remains plus-size.
This is where the "drama" begins for the bride.
Apparently after asking the bridesmaid if she was sure she was OK the bride ordering a specific dress that does not come in her size, the bridesmaid insisted it was good motivation to lose the weight.
"It’s been a year since I’ve told her and I continuously see her post stories of her eating whole pizzas, drinking several sodas a day, and laying in bed watching Netflix all day,"claimed the bride. "I’m very concerned for her health but I travel for work and can’t see her often to make food and go on walks with her."
The bride wants to know if it is wrong to tell her friend she can’t be her bridesmaid anymore if she can’t fit into her dress.
Surprisingly, people were pretty torn over if the bride was in the right on this one.
"I don’t think you’re coming at this from a perspective of 'I want everyone to look perfect on my wedding day' but instead, you spent money on a dress your friend told you to get," sympathized one user. "She confirmed that she would lose the weight and she didn’t. That’s on her if she didn’t keep her promise or motivation to lose the weight. Let her pay for the extra costs of getting the dress altered to her size if she really wants to."
Others noted that her jumping to kicking out the bridesmaid was a bit too extreme.
"This can't be the first time a bridesmaid gained or lost weight before a wedding,"another person responded. "She can get a tailor to alter the dress, or she can buy a similar dress (in color and style). YTA (you're the [expletive]) for kicking her out without trying alternatives first which is how most people handle the issue. If money is an issue, you can make her pay for the alteration/new dress."
A lot of folks argued that the issue was the bridesmaid promised to lose the weight and broke her promise, so therefore she deserves to lose her spot.
But there were plenty of folks who felt this was a lose excuse at best.
"I think somebody was put into a position of 'lose a bunch of weight or don't be in my wedding,' which will pressure someone into making a promise like that that they can't keep," retorted one user. "To be perfectly honest, if she HAD kept her promise, the dress would likely still not fit. I have no idea why people think adult women go from truly obese to 'shapely' when losing weight. When you're losing that much weight, even over the course of a year, you're not going to lose it evenly. She'd end up not fitting in the bust, or the bust would be too saggy while her belly would still be too tight to move."
Hopefully the bride can come to a conclusion that won't hurt her friend's feelings or "ruin" her big day.
After all, at the end of the day, what matters is being surrounded by people who love us throughout the milestones in our lives.
