The coronavirus crisis has forced people to cancel or change major life events: family trips, birth plans, and, sadly for some, even their weddings. Canceling or rescheduling a wedding not only puts the couple in a tough position but it also can put all of their friends and family in an awkward situation when it comes to gifts. Especially if the bride send outs an email advising guests that they can still send her wedding cash, like one woman on Reddit did. Her cousin is not feeling her little suggestion — at all.
As the original poster (OP) explained, he and his cousin have never seen eye to eye.
In a post that has since been removed on r/AITA, the OP explained that he and his cousin have just never been "compatible as people." "We ignore each other when we can, and tolerate each other when we can't," he wrote.
But perhaps there is good reason why the OP isn't a fan.
Given the coronavirus outbreak, his cousin had to cancel her upcoming wedding.
"The culture in my family dictates that wedding guests gift the bride and groom money, not material gifts," he wrote. So between the OP and his partner, the plan was to gift $400 AUD (or about $231 in US currency).
"Of course, we didn't end up giving [my cousin] this money, due to the cancelation," he posted.
That's why he was shocked to learn that, for her, the party wasn't quite over.
The OP's cousin emailed guests to announce the cancelation and noted that "they have the option to send [his cousin] money regardless of the cancelation."
The Redditor wasn't exactly feeling generous after receiving the bride's email.
He decided to send over a "cookie cutter" (superficial) response of regret__,__ and did fork over the money.
The OP explained that his cousin soon sent a follow-up email thanking guests who had sent wedding gifts."She even went so far as to list the list of names of those she thanked and sent it to everyone on the wedding list (even those that weren't thanked)," he noted.
The OP rolled his eyes and ignored her email completely.
Then, their moms got involved. His cousin's mom asked his mother if he "was in financial trouble."
Hint, hint.
He suspects that his cousin might be having a hard time covering the expenses of the wedding.
For that reason, his mom asked the OP to send his cousin some money. "But she also said that she completely understands if I refused," he wrote.
The thing is, the Redditor is not interested in giving his cousin a penny. He said he couldn't see how the other side of the family "being too poor to afford the wedding they organized" has anything to do with him.
Is he wrong?
People in the comments seemed to agree with the OP: No wedding, no cash.
"If the wedding is canceled, there is no need for a present," one commenter wrote. "I find it rude that she is asking for a present/money."
Someone else made a good point: "Is she going to expect another gift when she gets around to actually getting married?" the commenter wondered.
A third commenter advised, "I would be sending an email back to the whole group asking if [cousin] has financial issues, which is why she’s begging for money for a big life event that never happened? I don’t give money to people who haven’t gotten married every day."
Others believed the OP should send her a couple of bucks.
"[Cousin] is an [expletive] for chasing down gifts and trying to guilt people into giving, but the wedding was canceled due to circumstances beyond her control, and she and her fiancé are still planning to get married, so the OP should still pony up the gift, especially since OP admitted that if it were someone other than [his cousin], they'd have given the gift anyway," one commenter wrote.
A second person wrote, "It's not like they decided to not get married. It's that due to a global pandemic they're unable to hold a wedding."
A third person pointed out, "Your cousin is doing the socially responsible thing, and has to miss out on a major life event because of it. She's an [expletive] for calling out people via email, but honestly she's not wrong. Times like these we need to support people who are having their lives majorly impacted by COVID-19. I would include someone having to cancel their wedding in that."
The bottom line: Although emailing guests for money might be a bit tacky, canceling a wedding is a financial burden. If there was ever a time for a wedding guest to go above and beyond, that time is now.
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