There is no blueprint for divorce that works for all couples. Sometimes couples can separate amicably, other times it is drama city. Typically when one partner engaged in their fair share of, ahem, "entanglements" it doesn't usually go well, but sometimes it can get especially messy.
For one woman whose husband decided to entangle himself with a few women during their marriage, leaving was the best and only option. And while she says she was able to separate herself pretty easily, she did accidentally drop the divorce bomb on her former MIL on her way out.
The woman explained that she and her husband 'Jack' had been through the ringer a few times.
"Jack is very resistant to the idea [of divorce], and wants to try counseling. I'm not willing to try again," she admitted in a Reddit post. "It didn't work the first two times I pushed for counseling and when I asked (several times) if we could find a new therapist, he said no. But now that I've got proof he cheated with multiple women, he wants to try counseling again (cue eye-roll)."
With no kids and no major shared purchases, the woman just wanted out.
"To be honest, I'm willing to walk away with what I brought into the marriage…my dog and kitchen supplies," she wrote. "I managed to move out right before COVID restrictions started. Upon my moving day, I sent him a text:
"I've finished moving out. If you find anything of mine that I left behind, I don't want it anymore, feel free to toss or donate it."
While they were married, her ex's mother gifted her some family heirloom knickknacks.
While they lived together, the woman kept them on the mantle. But once she decided she was moving out, she left them, noting they weren't her taste and she frankly felt uncomfortable hanging onto heirlooms from someone else's family.
"Last week, I found a box on my front step; it was the knick-knacks," she said, "There was a note in [ex-husband's] handwriting saying I'd forgotten them. I checked to make sure that I'd sent the text saying 'If you find anything of mine that I left behind, I don't want it anymore, feel free to toss or donate it.' Sent him a screenshot of the text, and then drove over to his mother's house. If he doesn't want them, then they belong to his mother since it is her family heirlooms."
She intended to only leave them on the front porch, but then his mother met her outside and asked what was in the box.
"She's confused that I'm bringing them back and starts asking questions," the woman said. "I only say that since [ex-husband] and I are in the middle of a divorce, I don't feel comfortable keeping his family heirlooms, especially since I'll be changing my name back after finalization. I left right after that, and [ex-husband] later texted me, mad that I'd told his mother about the divorce. I told him that we are getting a divorce and I didn't want to stay married to him and if he didn't want to get divorced he shouldn't have cheated multiple times. We haven't spoke since then, although his mother keeps asking questions."
So now she wants to know: Was she wrong for telling her MIL about the divorce? And would she be wrong if she ended up telling her why?
The people of Reddit defended the woman, saying she's not at fault for his shortcomings.
"He didn't give you the knick-knacks out of the kindness of his heart," noted one reader. "He gave them to you because he hoped you would see them, see his note, think he did something sweet for you and you would want to get back together with him."
In fact, many went as far as to say she did the right thing.
"Returning the heirlooms is kind thing to do," complimented another user. "Divorcing was right, if you've been through marriage counseling twice and found out he cheated multiple times, you made the right decision. I reckon the reason he didn't want his mother to know is because he's embarrassed what she'll think of him cheating. In fact, respect for not telling her that, you showed a lot of self restraint."
While it may not be her place to dish the details, this woman did nothing wrong by informing her MIL of the divorce.
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