I heard something recently that made me really sad. I heard that there are actually women out there who have never had an orgasm. Not teenagers but adult women who have never had a partner that got them to their happy place. The female orgasm is not a myth and if you haven't had one, no fear, there's still hope.
There are several reasons why this can happen, your partner not knowing what they’re doing being a likely candidate.
Sometimes partners are selfish. Sometimes you are even faking it and they don't know any better. There are medical reasons that prevent women from orgasming. Some women are just too timid to explore themselves and would never dream of using sex toys. And truly, girl, do you, boo!
But I'd argue that it is an experience that you want to have.
Orgasms are good … so good. They are not a myth and if you are not having them, speak up and let your partner know because there is a way to have a legitimate one. And for the love of God: Never, ever fake it or you'll never, ever experience it.
By faking it, you are cheating yourself, insulting your partner and wasting your time. Sometimes a quickie where you don’t cum is fine just for intimacy and time’s sake, but let’s be honest, if I’m getting undressed and breaking a sweat, I want my endorphin rush in the end … I want my orgasm. Why do you think they call things better than sex? Because the orgasm part is transcendental. Believe me, you want some of this.
It's important to know that there's nothing wrong with you.
Sometimes getting in sync with your partner can take some time and that’s fine, but make sure that you enjoy the journey. You can let them know what you like, whisper it or shout it. They shouldn’t care. A good partner just wants to get you where you’re going so they can go there too.
Don’t be afraid to guide them with your hands and your body. If you react to what you like, they’ll keep doing it. If it’s still just not getting you to the finish line, simply bring a toy into the mix. If you think partners get intimidated by toys, you are mistaken. They'll wanna play, too.
If all else fails, have them watch as you give yourself an orgasm (it feels amazing, it’s good for your health and YOU DESERVE IT).
Did I mention how hot they will get watching you pleasure yourself? Bonus: they’ll be taking mental notes and that will work out for both of you next time.
There is an entire industry created just for self-pleasure. Don’t be ashamed to give yourself an orgasm. It’s your body and it deserves to be happy. What’s the point of all of those magical pleasure points if you’re not going to use them? Men have no qualms about pleasuring themselves and neither should you.
More importantly, teach your daughters that sex is good, healthy, and to never be ashamed of enjoying sex, wanting sex, or loving themselves and their body.
Women shouldn’t be afraid of wanting sex, wanting good sex, and speaking up in the bedroom. Sex is not dirty or just for men. We are allowed to enjoy sex, too, and owning your desire is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. Sex is not a passive sport. Get in there, girl, and just do it.
