To plan a perfect proposal, you have to take into consideration so many factors. You need a time and a place. Maybe you want friends and family to be there to help make the moment unforgettable. Do you want someone to take photos or videos? Will you have a surprise get-together afterward to show off your new fiancée? It's a special moment that starts your life as a couple and deserves to be well thought out.
Fast forward, and now you are planning your wedding and getting close to the big day. A family member is planning to get engaged — so exciting — but wants to get engaged at your wedding. How would you feel about that? A couple was recently approached with this idea by a cousin and gave the request a hard pass. The bride-to-be checked in with Reddit's AITA forum because she thinks she did the right thing, but people are giving her a tough time.
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The couple is super close to their wedding day.
It was time for the bride and groom to have their final fittings before the wedding. The original poster explained that her maid-of-honor, Ashlyn, 24, and the best man, Andy, 25, would be at the fitting too, and Andy had asked the day before if it was OK if he popped the question at the fitting because the four would be together that day.
"We of course said yes. It was beautiful and we all cried, and so did the workers. He gave a beautiful speech and ugh, it was so cute! I had taken a picture and posted it (with their permission) to congratulate them last Friday," OP wrote.
Well, that went over like a lead balloon when OP's husband's cousin — that's a mouthful — saw the post. He wanted to get engaged at OP's wedding, but the groom said no, and now he's mad.
OP thought it was a joke.
She got a text and laughed it off. Surely this guy wasn't serious. The texter wanted her to tell her fiancé that it was OK for another couple to get engaged at their wedding. She agreed with her fiancé and said nope.
"Now his mother, the same freaking aunt that had a melt down last month about who and who we aren't inviting to the wedding, is calling and texting, and leaving notes on our facebook saying [that] it was unfair to the cousin and his girlfriend that they couldn't get engaged at my wedding even though we let our friends get engaged. We didn't have to do anything, my fiances mother and sister quickly shut their s— down. I love my in-laws," she explained.
Total strangers are coming at her on Facebook, saying that she is being unfair. But is she?
That was a dress fitting. We're talking about the actual wedding!
Redditors wondered how dense these people really are. Do they not get that getting engaged at someone else's wedding is wildly inappropriate?
"NTA — it's one thing to propose at a private event leading up to the wedding, it is literally derailing your wedding so they can have a moment. You have spent so much time love money and care into planning this wedding, there is no reason it should be anyone else's day but you and your husbands," someone wrote.
"There's a huge difference between getting engaged at a dress fitting and getting engaged at a wedding. Fiancée's cousin is being obtuse for not seeing that," another person added. "Weddings are meant to be about the couple, and any distractions, LIKE A PUBLIC PROPOSAL, should happen another time."
BTW, obtuse is a great word!
"NTA, trying to make your wedding about them is insanely selfish, and no one who has pressed you on this should be invited to the wedding," a Redditor wrote. "Supposed to be your day, they had the unmitigated gall to try to make your day about them and take the attention off you. Uninvited and blocked, full stop."
Wait — this was all on Facebook?
If it was on social media already, is there even any reason for a grandiose event at the wedding?
"What is the point of a big, dramatic, all family present proposal anyway if everyone already learned about it on Facebook? Also, who are all these Facebook bullies that don't recognize rule number one of weddings and have time to spare harassing people they don't know? Are they for hire or something?" someone asked.
Others thought the same thing, as summarized by this commenter: "However, surely the element of surprise is gone now if they've broadcasted this all over Facebook?!"
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It all just seems dumb to Redditors.
OP, not a single Redditor thinks you're being a jerk. They believe your husband's family can all eat a piece of that cake. This is your day, your time, and your celebration — no one should even think about taking that away from you.
And don't give it another second thinking you were wrong to let your friends get engaged at the fitting. That was a fun moment between the four of you and didn't take anything away from anyone.
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. May you have a long and beautiful life together. Please pass on our congrats to Ashlyn and Andy.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
