It’s never a good sign when your mother-in-law is against you getting married, but things are so bad for one couple it completely ruined their wedding night. According to the bride, her husband spent their entire wedding trying to keep his mom company — completely ignoring his new wife and prompting an epic fight after the reception. She ended up locking him out of their bridal suite, but now she is worried that she made a huge mistake.
The two have been high school sweethearts since they were 14.
And the Original Poster’s (OP) mom has always tried to split them up. As the bride explained in her Am I the A–hole post on Reddit, her now husband has always been very close to his mother. And when they first announced their engagement, his mother “freaked out.”
“She told him ‘you won’t have a future with her.’ ‘You’re too young, you don't know what you’re doing.’ She even told him he can do better than me,” she wrote.
But the couple persevered through all of this mama drama.
When it came time for their wedding, they decided to go unconventional.
“The entire reception was more like a party, it wasn’t a traditional 'walk down the aisle' wedding but our most important family and friends were in attendance,” she explained.
From the sound of things, we're sure things were casual but probably not so low-key that the groom could completely ignore her throughout their wedding reception.
“The entire night, my soon to be husband sat at a table with his mom,” she wrote. “I let it go because I didn’t want to have a fight at our wedding. We still did traditional things like sharing vows, taking pictures, cutting the cake, etc.”
But besides those few more traditional moments during the party, “I barely saw him.”
As the bride explained later in the post, his mother wasn't the only member of his family at the event. His father, aunts, brother and cousins also were there, so she wasn't by herself.
When it came time to cut the wedding cake, her husband made another major mistake: He immediately took the first slice to his mother.
The bride didn’t want to cause a scene, but she fumed. "I was upset because the first slice should go to the people actually getting married," she wrote.
“But again, I let it slide,” she continued. “I spent my wedding at a table with my best friend and my 14-year-old brother-in-law.”
Later that night, the two of them “got into it.”
Not only had he ignored the OP, but he didn’t help at all with the wedding planning.
“And just when we were getting home, he tosses the cake in the fridge without covering it or anything,” she recalled.
“I started asking him to wrap the cake and we got into a huge fight about if it was fine or not,” she admitted. Things just escalated from there.
“I felt just done with the whole day, went into our room and locked the door,” she wrote. “I was so mad I eventually ended up falling asleep, and he slept on the couch on our wedding night. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I just wanted some space for a bit.”
Since that night, they’ve been fighting on-and-off and her husband’s mother has called her a “bridezilla” more than once “so I'm starting to doubt myself.
“Am I the a–hole here for not allowing my new husband into our bedroom on our wedding night?” she asked.
Many commenters were in agreement — her husband needs to cut the cord.
One person wrote that she's not at fault. "[A]nnulment. He’s already married to his mother," the commenter advised.
"110% Get out of this relationship," someone else agreed. "Speaking from experience, this doesn’t get better. And he won’t change."
"Well the guy is still 20 so I think he has room to change," a third commenter wrote. "But agree with the advice that he is too immature to be married."
A few people thought they both were to blame.
"[Everyone Sucks Here]," one commenter wrote. "Get an annulment, go back to dating. You guys aren't old enough or mature enough to be married."
"Just talk calmly, both of you, mother is out. Set boundaries. You both need to talk calmly, with respect and expressing your feelings without blaming the other," someone else advised.
"ESH. Obviously you and him are too young to get married," a third person chimed in. "A lot of maturity issues here [on] both sides."
Later in the thread, the OP admitted that even if she didn’t mean to cause a big rift in her marriage, she probably did.
“Some people have said that I locked him out because of the cake argument, for me it was the icing on the night so to speak (pun not intended). I told him I needed space and when I went into the room I stayed on the floor crying until I fell asleep and I apologized for it the next morning,” she wrote.
“Locking him out was not my intent but intention rarely affects the impact of the actions and I do see that.”
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