Dresses are a big deal while planning a wedding. This is especially true when it comes to honoring the late parents of the bride or groom. When a couple says, “I do,” they often want to feel like a part of their family member is there with them.
However, when a mother expresses a desire to pass along her wedding dress but has multiple children, things can get tricky. The situation may turn downright hostile if that mom died before her kids married, leaving who has the “right” to the gown up in the air. And that’s exactly what happened to a Reddit user who is now asking: AITA?
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A Reddit user explained that her late mother wanted her to have her wedding dress.
On September 21, a Reddit user took to the AITA subreddit to vent about a situation involving her late mother’s wedding dress. The original poster, a 32-year-old woman, explained that her mom died four years ago.
“It was devastating, and I inherited a lot of her things, including her wedding dress,” she wrote. “My mom and I were incredibly close, and she always talked about how much she wanted me to wear her dress when I got married. I’m not married yet, but I’ve been saving the dress for my special day.”
However, the OP's brother's fiancée asked if she could wear the gown.
The OP shared that her brother is getting married next year. Recently, her brother’s fiancée asked if she could wear her mother’s wedding dress.
“She said it would mean a lot to her because she never got to meet my mom, and she wants to feel connected to her on the big day,” she explained. ” I understand that it’s a sweet gesture, but I don’t feel comfortable with her wearing something that’s so sentimental to me, especially since my mom always wanted me to wear it.”
The OP said she wasn't OK with it.
After the Reddit user told her brother’s fiancée that she was not OK with her wearing her mom’s wedding dress. The fiancée got upset and said she “was being selfish,” the OP explained. “Now my brother is upset with me too, saying it’s ‘just a dress’ and that I’m ruining their wedding over something that’s not a big deal,” she wrote.
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She even suggested a compromise but was turned down.
The OP even suggested a compromise on the dress situation. “I offered to help her find a similar dress or even incorporate a piece of my mom’s dress into her own gown, but she refused,” she noted. “Our family is now divided, with some saying I’m in the right and others saying I should let it go for the sake of family harmony.”
In the comments, Reddit users agreed she is NTA.
Reddit users were solidly on the OP’s side.
One wrote: “NTA. If it were ‘just a dress’ like your brother says, your future SIL wouldn’t make such a big deal out of your refusal. This is your dress to wear some day – or not. But it is your special connection. Not hers.”
Another agreed, commenting: “Nta. I would hide the dress at a trusted friends house until after the wedding. The rest of the family can kick rocks, this isn’t their dress so they have no say on the matter.”
Meanwhile, someone else jokingly suggested, “If it’s “just a dress” and your brother wants a connection to your mom there, perhaps you should wear it to their wedding instead…😉.”
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