If you're planning a wedding, you may have heard someone say, "You're not just marrying them. You're marrying the whole family." Although we may not always want to believe that's the case, it's often true. A bride or groom often comes with parents, siblings, and maybe a crazy uncle or two. No matter what you call them, they are family and part of the package.
But just because they are family doesn't mean you have to love them. Shoot, you don't even have to like them. And, gasp, sometimes they won't like you either. But you all have to play nice, right? One would certainly hope so.
A woman on Reddit says her and her fiancé's mom have never really gotten along, and now that they are wedding planning, it's even worse. The mother-in-law-to-be has opinions, but the bride isn't interested. MIL just crossed a big line, though, when she tried to mess with the dress. All heck broke loose. Now the bride's asking Reddit's AITA forum if she is off base for telling her MIL to get with the program or get out.
It's a tale as old as time.
The original poster, 26, and her fiancé, 29, have been together for four years, and not during one of those minutes has her future MIL liked her. OP has tried, but MIL has always been "cold" and uninterested. And now that it's time to plan a wedding, MIL has all kinds of thoughts on the whole thing. OP said MIL isn't putting one dime into the wedding, but she wants things her way.
"'You should make the themes this color,' 'make sure you have this dish on the menu to be served,' 'don't do an open bar you don't want people being too rowdy,' 'make sure me, my sister and cousin are sitting front row at the wedding ceremony,' etc etc," are just some of the things the bride explained her future MIL has said.
And wouldn't you know, they went dress shopping, and MIL hated OP's choice. This woman had the nerve to say, "This is a wedding, not a strip club I don't like it."
Guess how that went?
OP ran her card, and the dress was hers. That's what you would think, right? Well, the meddling MIL went off her rocker and tried to pull a fast one on the dress shop — and of course the bride.
"Last night my fiancé and I are cleaning up after dinner and I received a call from the shop I ordered my dress from. They were calling me concerned because apparently a lady (my MIL) called then pretending to be me and wanted to switch the dress I chose to a more appropriate dress. The sales associate realized that It wasn't my phone number that called to make the change, and called me immediately to confirm before they changed the order," she wrote.
Both of them were "livid" over the situation. "He called his mom to confront her and she fessed up, after denying it a few times," OP wrote.
OP told her that if she didn't like the dress, she could "consider herself uninvited from the wedding." Now the bride is worried she is being unfair.
This woman is not the bride, and she needs to cool it.
Redditors immediately told OP to watch her back because they think MIL has it out for her. "NTA. nope nope nope. If she's doing this before the wedding, what will she do AT the wedding?" someone warned.
How crazy is she? One Redditor wondered what she could do. "That or she spills something on OP's dress during the wedding and then "conveniently" has a more "appropriate" dress on standby. Definitely NTA."
"NTA and I would put passwords on all your vendors and anything else regarding to the vendor. I would not do numbers she may know (birth date, anniversary date etc..). Like The sky is made of blue cheese. (Something random.)," one person suggested.
As much as they dislike MIL, Redditors love OP's fiancé.
Even though the situation is pretty contentious, OP's fiancé definitely showed his love and loyalty to her, which made many Redditors happy.
"And important lesson learned — your fiancee is willing to stand up to his mother to defend you. Keep an eye on how he acts and reacts as this continues," someone wrote. "While it would be AH to set up something like this to 'test' him, it is a test of your relationship and interactions, and it is entirely appropriate to use it as a moment to get a glimpse of what your future together may be."
"Thank goodness fiancé realizes that the only inappropriate thing here is his mother's behavior," another person commented.
"I am sorry that your MIL is such a piece of work, but I'm glad your fiance supports you and is on your side," another person chimed in. "You will have a much nicer wedding day without her there."
OP, enjoy your wedding day.
Redditors hope you have realized that you are the star of the show on your wedding day and that no one ruins that for you. MIL has no place telling you what to do. Luckily, your fiancé loves you enough to defend what you both feel is right.
Hopefully, your MIL will come around and realize that she needs to respect you as the bride. If she can't do that, then she really has no place at the wedding.
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