There are two things that we know for sure are true. First: All bodies are good bodies as in all are worthy of being treated with love, care, and kindness. Second: Way too many people in the world, including loved ones, strangers, and the whole damn internet, are all too happy to try to make women feel bad about their bodies. From overtly mean comments to subtle shade, most of us have heard remarks that shame anyone who fails to look 100% perfect, 100% of the time.
But here's the thing: just because someone is going to try to act the fool and shame someone for having the nerve to just live in their own skin, doesn't mean that we have to take in that negativity. One of our goals should be to be militantly on our own sides, including standing up for ourselves when people try to bring us down. And, yes, it can be hard sometimes in the moment to think of the perfect devestating clapback for a shady or cruel comment but we're going to take some inspiration from the following 15 real moms who found just the right thing to say when they faced a body shamer. So forget all the BS fitness inspo on social media and sit back and enjoy some comeback inspo instead!
Mama Drama
"My mom (otherwise known as the reason I've been in therapy for a long a– time) is so messed up about body stuff and she has said terrible stuff about my body ever since I was a kid. Last Christmas, I was getting a second helping of pie and she said something like 'do you really need that?' and I took my phone out and asked her to repeat it on video. She asked why and I said 'Listen, this will save me a bunch of time in therapy if I can show my therapist instead of trying to explain it.' She just sputtered and walked away." β Melissa H., Lansing, Michigan
Gym Class Hero
"I'm a certified Zumba and yoga teacher. I'm also a thick girl, so I don't look like what some people think of when they think of fitness instructors. Once I was chatting with a coworker that the front desk of the gym before one of my classes when this woman walked in and looked me up and down and said 'aw, go you! You can do this, babe!' which is so freaking condescending. I rolled my eyes and she gave me a totally dirty look. I didn't even have to say a comeback. The look on her face when I showed up as the instructor of her yoga class was enough for me!" β Zadie H., High Point, North Carolina
Bad Doctor
"I was at the doctor because I had a foot injury and when I was getting checked in, I declined to get weighed because I've just decided that I don't get weighed for every appointment, because there is just no need for it and my weight is stable. My doctor came in and started talking to me about my weight and needing to be more active and asking if I wanted information on weight management. I told him that I wasn't there to talk about weight, that I needed to have my foot checked. He said that the pain was probably from my weight putting strain on my foot bones. I said 'I'm going to stop you right there. If you had taken 5 seconds to read my chart, you'd see that the pain is actually from me dropping a dumbbell on my foot while I was weightlifting, so check your fat phobia and look at my damn foot.' Then I left and switched providers. A–hole." β Janelle G., St. Cloud, Minnesota
Not Your Business
"I really need people to understand that you don't have a right to know why I'm a wheelchair user. It's so gross when people I don't know are like 'so, what happened to you?' so I've started using the standard response of 'I kicked a nosey b—- so hard that I broke my leg right off.' Makes them uncomfortable every time." β name withheld by request
I'm What?
"I'm 26 and pregnant for the second time. I was 24 when I had my first. I'm pretty petite and I have a young looking face, so I got a lot (a lot) of comments the first time around from people who assumed I was a teen mom. Setting aside the whole thing about it not being anyone's business, it was also just annoying to have my body commented on so much. This time around, anyone who I don't know who asks about my pregnancy and I get a whiff that they are trying to figure out if they should judge me for being 17 or something, I just pretend I don't understand what they are talking about. Like 'when am I due? Due for what?' or 'What am I having? Like, for lunch?' or 'Am I pregnant? Oh my God, could I be pregnant? What?' which is hilarious because I'm having twins and I am freaking huge." β Blakely B., Mesa, Arizona
Girls in Glasses
"My dad is super Southern and super traditional. He very much thinks that it is important for women to be feminine and wear makeup and have big hair and all of that. I'm much more crunchy and don't wear makeup, like gender neutral clothes, and recently stopped wearing contacts and wearing glasses again. My dad hates my glasses and made some dumb joke that 'You know, boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.' I just looked at him for a minute and said 'So, are you worried I'm not getting enough sex?' He turned bright red." β Amanda E., Savannah, Georgia
Short Hair, Don't Care
"After my daughter was born, I decided to get a short hair cut because I was too tired to deal with having long hair and she kept pulling it all the time anyway. I posted a picture on Facebook and my idiot brother posted a comment that I looked like a man now and asking if I was 'gonna be a lesbian now or something.' I replied back that if I did become a lesbian, it would be the first time any of us siblings was ever find a girlfriend and that I'd have to give him tips, since he didn't seem to know how to keep a girlfriend for longer than a week." β Jessie W., Abilene, Texas
Sales Lady Clapback
"I was shopping for a dress for a job interview and the sales lady kept making these kind of passive aggressive comments about which styles were more 'flattering' or 'better for your shape.' Of course all the things she was showing were the most frumpy or boring options. Finally I snapped at her that 'I'm going to need you to stop thinking about my body so much. I know it's banging but it's weird how you can't stop thinking about the size of my ass.' Worked like a charm!" β Kendra B., Tampa, Florida
Fat & Fast
"I'm a former college swimmer and current fat lady about town. Even though I'm fat, I'm still much, much faster of a swimmer than most people are. I was at the pool and getting in to swim laps. When all the lanes are full, you are supposed to share and it's good form that if you are slower, you don't get into lanes with the super speedy swimmers so they aren't having to pass you all the time. Well, I got to the pool and watched for a little and finally got in to share a lane with this super ripped guy who I was sure I was probably faster than. When I got in, he stopped and said 'Um, I'm tri training so please try not to slow me down.' I gave him a death glare and said 'I'm also tri training so I'll need you to get out of my way when I pass you.' And then I spent the next 45 minutes lapping him, because you can be fat and fast." β Rachel E., Tucson, Arizona
Wedding Dress Drama
"I'm the oldest of three sisters. My second sister and I both take after our dad. We're tall and big boned. My littlest sister is petite and skinny like my mom. When my littlest sister got engaged, my mom said 'Finally someone who can wear my wedding dress! God knows it was too small for your sisters.' I just looked at her and said 'Mom, I was glad I was too big for that polyester puff sleeve nightmare of a dress. Nobody wants to wear your 1984 dress!' And I wasn't lying." β Willow R., Chicago, Illinois
Tinder Fail
"I just started dating again after my divorce and it is rough out there. I connected with a guy on Tinder and we were starting to send some sexy, flirty messages. I sent him a picture of me in a bathing suit and he messaged that I was 'too big' for him, because 'when it comes to boobs, anything more than a handful is a waste' (gross). I messaged back to thank him for his honesty and that, based on the picture he sent me, nobody would ever complain that he was 'too big' for them, if you know what I mean." β name withheld by request
Kiddie Clapback
"This wasn't my clapback, but I'm still taking credit for it. My mother-in-law is one of those women who is always on a diet, always talking about people's bodies, always worried about weight. I do not want my daughter thinking like that, so I'm super intentional about talking to her about how toxic diet culture is, about how we don't body or weight shame. Well, one day my MIL started talking about how my daughter was starting to get a little tummy and my daughter said 'Grandma, only boring people like to talk about weight' and just walked away. I was so flipping proud." β Sarah L., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Tiger Stripes
"My now ex-husband was really unkind about the way my body looked after I had our kids. I didn't have the Hollywood snap back that he was expecting, I guess. He even offer to 'let me' get a 'mommy makeover' and specified that he was hoping it would help my pouch and stretch marks. I told him that they were my tiger stripes and that he could take that plastic surgery money and put it towards crop tops instead, because I wasn't ashamed of myself." β Irene W., Provo, Utah
Silent Comeback
"OK, mine isn't a verbal comeback, it is more like petty revenge, but the spirit is there. So, I'm obsessed with my Peloton. So is my boss. My boss is this super type-A guy and is the type who is obsessed with biohacking and tech and tracking all his workout metrics. He's also someone who doesn't believe that you can be fat and healthy, so he is always trying to set up office weight-loss challenges and sending me things about our health insurance coverage for this weight-loss program. I can't really tell him to shove it (the rest of my job is great and I love it) but I found out that we are both in this Peloton challenge that tracks how many minutes you do every year and I make sure I always stay just ahead of him in the standings. I've done many spite rides, just to stay ahead of him because I know he's competitive and would hate me winning." β name withheld by request
Telling His Mama
"I was out jogging and this car full of teenage boys drove by. Some of them rolled down their windows and were mooing at me and one yelled something like 'Stop, you're making the ground shake!' As they drove by, I realized I recognized the car because of the distinctive bumper stickers on it. It belonged to one of my coworkers! I happened to know where she lived (because we've carpooled to work) so I jogged to her house, rang the doorbell, and when her son answered the door, there I was! I asked him to get his mom and he said no and tried to close the door, so I said that was fine and I'd just text her instead. It most have dawned on him that I knew his mom and he got real apologetic, real quick. She ended up coming to the door as he was apologizing so I stood there and made him explain to his mama why I was there and that he and his friends were cat calling from her car. Yeah, I think the rest of the day went terribly for him!" β Larissa P., Grand Rapids, Michigan
