One mom’s mother had a simple rule for Mother’s Day: cooking and cleaning supplies are not Mother’s Day gifts. In a video shared on TikTok, Jessica Molina explained her mom’s definition of the difference between Mother’s Day gifts and family gifts. If everyone in the family can “benefit from” the gift, it is a family gift, not a Mother’s Day gift.
This opinion turned out to be a bit controversial though, as some moms insisted that they really do want vacuums and kitchen appliances.
Jessica explained that her mom had this rule for their family growing up.
“My mom has had the same Mother’s Day gift rule for as long as I can remember,” Jessica asserted in her video. “And that is, if it’s something to clean, if it’s something to decorate, if it’s something to keep maintenance of any kinds in the house, it is not a Mother’s Day gift. It is a family gift.”
This includes items used for cooking or baking, because the whole family “can benefit from it.”
What counts as a Mother’s Day gift?
Jessica went on to explain what a Mother’s Day gift should look like, according to her mom’s rule. “A Mother’s Day gift is thinking specifically of the mother and what she would like,” she explained, adding that it’s “not just another thing for the home that we’re disguising as a gift for mom.”
Now that Jessica is a mom herself, she understands why her mom had this rule.
However, some moms disagreed.
While the rule makes a lot of sense, it was surprisingly controversial. Jessica received lots of comments from moms who said they actually do want kitchen appliances or cleaning supplies for Mother’s Day. Several moms said they really enjoy cooking, and some of the gadgets they’d like for their homes are pretty expensive. But others questioned why these purchases should be Mother’s Day gifts if they are for the entire family.
“If it makes my life easier I want it,” one person commented on the video. “I got a steam cleaner and I loved it.” In response, another person wrote: “Why wait until Mother’s day for that? if you need and makes your every day easier, it’s a need, not a ‘special day‘ gift.”
Some people seemed to agree with Jessica’s point, but with some caveats: Receiving cooking or cleaning supplies as a gift is fine as long as you actually asked for them.
“Unless it’s what you ask for…” one person pointed out. Some people disagreed with this take though, with one person insisting that these types of purchases should be “family gifts.” They suggested that women who want cooking and cleaning supplies should view these as general household purchases, and consider asking for something else for Mother’s Day.
“If you, in your bones, believe it’s your hobby and it serves YOU. go off,” that person continued. “If it’s something that serves the family … consider that it’s not a GIFT it’s a household expense.”
Many people could at least agree that people should buy moms gifts that they actually want.
@heyjessmolina We set the standards, mamas. #mothersday #mothersdaygift #mothersdaygiftideas ♬ Pink Pony Club x All Star Kooze Mix – Kooze
One mom who disagreed with Jessica’s video wrote: “Give me anything for my kitchen & I’m delighted! Cooking for my family gives me the most joy.” But others reminded the mom that she likes these kinds of gifts because she actually enjoys cooking — and not all moms do.
“Those are obviously things you love & enjoy,” one person wrote back. “However, if I received those items as gifts, I’d be furious & disappointed at the same. Gift people things you know they’ll love.”
While not everyone agreed with the rule Jessica shared, many moms said they have similar rules for their families. “Cards, flowers, jewelry, add too her collection, art supplies, hair/nail appointment, a new outfit, a handbag, bath therapy, dinner out?” one person commented. “There are so many good options before crockpot.”
Jessica thinks the bar is too low when it comes to Mother’s Day gifting.
Speaking to Today.com, Jessica urged other moms to “set the bar higher.” When reading a thread on Substack about Mother’s Day gifts, she noticed that a lot of moms said they wanted things that would benefit the entire household. This inspired her to share her mom’s gifting rule with her TikTok followers.
“Right away, I noticed women asking for household items, like ‘Oh, I really want this new Dyson vacuum’ or the Le Creuset pan,” she told Today.com. “And I could almost hear my mom’s voice in my head saying, ‘Those aren’t Mother’s Day gifts.’”
Since Mother’s Day is “about recognizing the effort we put in all year long,” moms “deserve to ask for things that are specifically meant for us,” she added.
