In a perfect world, couples who enter a long-term relationship will never argue, will stay together forever, and will always be physically attracted to each other. But we know all too well there is no such thing as a perfect world, and even the happiest couples have moments when everything isn't a dream come true. As people age, they change physically and mentally, and sometimes, the person they've become isn't the person they fell in love with.
A woman has become disenchanted with her husband, whom she thinks has let himself go, and she has started fantasizing about younger men. She wrote to Dear Abby, promising she'd never cheat, but she wants to know how she can get the younger, more attractive version of her husband back.
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He used to be the man of her dreams.
According to the original poster, her husband is "brilliant, classy, faithful, a great father and handsome at 46, with not even a wrinkle." But she says he's in a financial rut and has "let himself go." She's not as attracted to him as she used to be and wants him to make some changes.
"He's been in a financial rut for about a decade and has let himself go. I respect him, but when I try to help him look better, he says, 'I don't care. Go ahead and leave me,' which I think is very immature," she wrote.
OP is starting to resent her husband.
She's 42 and claims that she's contributing financially to the family and has allowed him to follow his dreams, but he's not giving her anything in return.
"While I'd never cheat, I can't help but miss the man I fantasize about in my dreams. It's hurtful that he doesn't care. People think he's my father when they meet him," she wrote.
Abby thinks there is more to this story.
The columnist isn't sold on the fact that the OP's husband is just in a rut. Instead, she thinks there is more to it, and he is likely depressed.
"Rather than a physical makeover, he may need a mental one. Tell him you love him, that you are worried about his physical and mental health, and try to convince him to tell his doctor how he's feeling. If you do, it may be the answer to your problem," Abby suggested.
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The comment section wasn't impressed with OP.
Plenty of people thought she was being pretty shallow.
One person wrote, "Is this woman applying the same standard for herself? Does she still look like her wedding picture herself, if she demands this of her husband."
This person agreed and commented, "I'm wondering how often you tell your husband he's not attractive enough for you? We'd be getting very different responses here if the genders were reversed on the still handsome man who has let himself go in his wife's eyes."
"You mean you let him go! Marriage takes two," someone else added. "Once you stop contributing, complaining and blaming your spouse – it's clear who is at fault here."
