When a child is abused, and he dares to tell someone about it — particularly a parent — he wants that person to believe him. Telling that kind of truth and being called a liar would be the ultimate betrayal in a parent-child relationship. Sadly, this happens far too often and can destroy families.
A woman’s husband, who she loves dearly, experienced this kind of heartbreak as a child. His mother chose her husband — his stepfather — over him, and it caused him to cut off all ties with her and go no contact. But she recently showed up at her son and daughter-in-law’s door, begging for help after her husband damaged her home and left her.
She seems to think that now that she is the victim, telling her son she believes him is OK. Her daughter-in-law gave that a huge “hell no” and told her to move along. Does that make the DIL an a–hole? She went to Reddit’s AITA forum to see what people thought.
The abuse reportedly went on for years.
The original poster wrote that her husband had a rough young life. “I don’t know the whole story, but his dad passed away when he was young, and his mom remarried a man who was horribly abusive to him up until he moved out,” she explained.
When OP and her husband married six years ago, they essentially cut his mother off. She chose her husband over her son for so long. He didn’t want anything to do with her, and OP supported that 100%.
Now his mom is coming to them, begging for help.
This lady had a scuffle with her husband and showed up at her son’s door. They blocked her phone number and she couldn’t call, so she went straight to their house to tell her sob story. She said her husband left her, and now she realizes her son was telling the truth all along. The woman stood on the doorstep weeping and begging to see her son. OP was not about to let that happen.
“I said that she had some f—ing balls coming to our house to cry after throwing her son to the side for a disgusting predator until that stopped working for her. I said she made her bed, now is the time to lay in it, and it wasn’t going to be in my f—ing house. She was almost hysterical when she left. Her coming to the door put my husband in a panic attack, he’s been too depressed to get out of bed since,” she wrote.
But in her rage, she wonders if she took it too far.
When you love someone, you want to protect them at all costs. Redditors feel like that was just what OP was doing. And it was a lot more love than he ever had from his mother.
“NTA OP defended her home and her husband from someone who caused husband incredible trauma,” a comment reads. “WELL DONE!! If husband had wanted to talk, that would be slightly different. However by husband’s reaction OP did exactly the right thing.”
“You don’t owe her help or compassion,” someone else pointed out. “She had none for your husband. There’s no way she didn’t know what her husband was like. She just decided it wasn’t a problem. She decided it was acceptable because it didn’t hurt her. It’s suddenly important because it hurt her and she instantly wants it to go away. Your husband didn’t have that luxury.”
Another Redditor wrote: “NTA. Manipulators think tears work on everyone and are shocked when they don’t. I love your shiny spine! You did the right thing and I’m sure your husband appreciates it. Take care of yourselves and keep the old bat blocked. She deserves nothing”
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The memories of abuse will never go away.
Redditors feel OP’s MIL isn’t taking any responsibility for the abuse she allowed to happen. And they don’t think her son owes her a thing. People don’t think this woman deserves a pass.
“And I have zero sympathy for parents who abuse, or are complicit in the abuse, of their kids,” one comment reads. “Maybe in hindsight you would have behaved differently but you had to act in the moment. She ambushed you and she had some nerve to do so.”
“That woman chose to not believe her son was being abused by her husband,” a Redditor noted. “She actively chose a man over her own son’s safety. She has no right to seek out your husband’s comfort after years off no contact. Send a certified letter telling her to never step foot on your property nor contact you and your husband otherwise you’ll serve her with a restraining order.”
OP, there is no way you are the one in the wrong.
Not a single Redditor thinks OP was the a–hole. This has her MIL’s name written all over it. There is no excuse for a mother not protecting her child. Period. Her son and OP owe her nothing. She made choices that will affect the rest of her life, and she needs to deal with that. Hopefully, one day, her son will heal. And someday, he may forgive, but he will probably never forget.
If you suspect child abuse, you can call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 (1-800-4-A-Child), or go to Childhelp.org. The hotline is available 24/7.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
