My MIL Won’t Shut Up About My Weight so Now I’m Refusing To Visit Her

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There is nothing easy about being a postpartum mom, and it can be particularly hard if you are a first-time mom who doesn't know what to expect. Having the support of a loving partner and family and friends can make such a huge difference to a new mom's mental health. Nothing is worse than people commenting judgmentally about new moms just trying to adjust to their new normal.

Nasty comments from other moms can really feel like a dagger, especially when it comes from someone who is supposed to be part of your support system.

A first-time mom posted in Reddit's AITA forum about her mother-in-law's complete lack of empathy after the mom gave birth. Not only is the woman a hands-off grandparent, but she also makes condescending remarks about the original poster's body. Things have gotten so bad that she doesn't even want to see this woman, and we can't say that we blame her.

OP's MIL is the passive-aggressive type.

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She's the kind who always has something to say but tends to dance around the issue. OP, who had the baby five months ago, explained that her MIL told her all about how she made losing the baby weight a priority when she had kids and even commented about her granddaughter's chubby cheeks and how they resemble OP's. But then she made a really mean comment.

"The final straw was when my husband was talking to her casually about my wanting to start going on runs again and how we were planning on making it work since our baby is very attached to me," OP explained. "She very loudly said 'you're thinking about trying to run? Shouldn't you start with walking?' His whole family was in the room and looked at me waiting for my answer. I am an avid runner who only stopped due to my pregnancy, and her comment really hurt."

OP also has a history of disordered eating.

The MIL talked about OP's body while knowing she suffered from an eating disorder as a teen. It's as if the woman has no filter or concern about the mother of her grandchild, and OP is done with it. She's decided to stop seeing her MIL completely.

"This is where I feel like the a–hole. I don't want to see her anymore. She makes me feel like crap about myself and my husband is backing me up 100%," she wrote. "His mom is angry because she thinks we are just keeping her grandchild away from her and believes it is unfair. He goes there without me but it is difficult to take our baby because she is exclusively breastfed and refuses bottles of any kind."

So, who's the a–hole here?

Redditors think the MIL needs to zip her lips.

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Redditors were not impressed and believe OP is totally justified in staying away.

"NTA, it is completely your choice to avoid someone who makes you feel bad about your body," one person wrote. "Her intentions are not relevant, and it doesn't matter if her actions are small in the context of you having had and are managing your ED. She is being very selfish and inconsiderate."

Another agreed, commenting, "MIL can't say awful stuff and expect no consequences. My MIL said the most misogynistic, fat shaming, etc comments to me way before my daughter was born. She was completely shocked when I refused to ever even let her visit. You don't like me, you don't get access to my kid."

So did this person: "There is a 'rule' that goes 'disrespect the mother, never see the baby.' She is likely to have other bad behavior if you don't nip this in the bud."

Redditors appreciate OP's husband's love for his wife.

People thought he was doing the right thing by supporting his wife. Yes, MIL is his mother, and he can choose to see her if he wants, but OP has no obligation to her.

"It is great that your husband is not pushing you to visit his mother, but he should be very plain with her that you do not go because she is rude to you. Since you are nursing, that means that baby cannot go either," one person wrote. "He needs to tell mom that he loves his wife and she needs to treat you with respect or she will be out of your lives."

This person agreed, writing, "Glad your husband is backing you. That seems to so rarely happen in these cases."

OP has no reason to see her MIL right now.

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Redditors overwhelmingly agree that OP's MIL is the a–hole.

This person had an amazingly petty response that we love: "This is one of those rare 'justifiable petty' moments. She lives 20 minutes away? She can come to you to see the little one. And the first time she makes anything close to a snarky comment about you? She can walk home again or be escorted out by a cop."