My Partner’s Family Refused To Take Off Their Shoes Inside Our Home, So I Kicked Them Out

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Hosting a kids’ birthday party in your home can be a stressful experience. From worrying about cleaning, preparing food, and keeping the little ones wrangled and entertained, it can be a lot to take on. But recently, a Reddit user said she kicked out her partner’s family from her daughter’s birthday party after they refused to take off their shoes inside their home.

The age-old debate over the health risks of wearing shoes inside rages on, it seems. A Reddit user in the AITA subreddit who detailed the uncomfortable situation in a January 2025 thread is living proof. And now, they’re wondering: Are they the jerks for kicking out their partner’s family?

In early January 2025, the Reddit user explained their no-shoes policy.

The original poster (OP) began her post by explaining that they are Asian and their partner is white. Additionally, the disagreement happened at their daughter’s first birthday party.

“It has been the norm in our household to keep shoes off when we’re at home and we also wear indoor footwear/slippers,” the OP wrote. “I have always kept spa slippers for guests in variety of sizes in case some are not comfortable in going barefoot. I have always kept my house clean and have always maintained outdoor shoes/footwear off when inside our house.”

The partner's family walked in with their shoes on.

At the birthday party, several guests arrived and complied with the no-shoes rules. The partner’s dad, his fiancé, and their children arrived and “went straight in with their filthy shoes on,” she detailed.

“Like really gross looking shoes, that were not clean looking and you can see the dirt sticking to my tiles,” they continued. “I told my partner to tell them to take off shoes please because the other guests were happy to comply and thought they would do the same. Well they didn’t do that and just kept walking around inside with the shoes on and stepping on the rugs and mats with it.”

Even after she asked them to remove their shoes again, they refused.

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“I politely asked again, but his dad grunted and said, ‘Our shoes are clean, we always wash them weekly,'” the OP explained. “I pointed out the dirt on the floor and he said it’s the dirt from when they walk on our front yard so it”s mainly part of our house.”

They continued, “I explained again that kids and most especially his grandchild crawls around our floor and since it’s her birthday to just take their shoes off the mat where she crawls. This time he seems offended and started with why I am making such a big deal out of wearing shoes inside when it’s a party anyway and I’m ruining such an important day because I could not bend a little rule for one day. And it’s white people culture to not take their shoes off anyway.”

They then kicked the partner's family out of the birthday party.

“That’s when I lost it and said they can get out of my house if they can’t do a simple request,” the OP shared. “And they left and my partner said I should’ve just let it go since they traveled quite far to come for our daughter’s birthday and I’m an a–hole for not being considerate for only one day.”

So, is the OP the jerk?

In the comments, Reddit users all seemed to agree: The OP is NTA.

One person wrote, “NTA at all. When you pointed out the dirt that they trailed into your home, the response was idiotic.”

Another Reddit user commented, “I am as white as they come and I have the same rule. Outdoor shoes are disgusting AF. On my clean floors? No thank you. And rude guests are not allowed in my home.”

Meanwhile, someone else pointed out, “The only a–holes here are the people who couldn’t acquiesce to a perfectly reasonable request from the person whose home they were in. It’s your house and you don’t have to accept dirt being tracked through it. Would have been easy enough for them to do this rather than die on that hill. NTA.”