For the first few years of a child's life, parents can get by with having family-only kids' birthday parties. When that kid starts preschool, however, the pressure is on to host parties with all their classmates and friends invited. Suddenly, celebrating a birthday can become a major investment of time and money.
At what point is it not worth the financial and logistical strain? A TikTok mom named Hannah recently shared how much she spent on her son's birthday party with friends, and it was a lot. Ultimately, she reached out to her followers to see what other parents were doing — because the return on investment was seriously lacking.
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Hannah lamented that she feels like kids' birthday parties are a 'waste.'
Recently, a mom of three named Hannah posted a video on TikTok declaring, "I think we’ve had it with kids’ birthday parties."
She explained in the clip. "I just added all that up, and that was $718 for a mediocre, average, run-of-the-mill birthday party. That does not include any presents that we got him. And that was, I think, 15 kids at just like a mini-golf place. And I feel like it’s such a waste."
She recognizes the importance of kid friendships.
Because she has three kids, that money adds up quickly. "That means I’m spending $700 three times a year on just birthday parties for their friends," she pointed out. "And then we do stuff like just our immediate family of five. You know, balloons, cake, their favorite meal, etc, on their actual birthday."
Hannah acknowledged that friendships are "really important" but doubted that birthday parties played much of a role in them.
"Is the party — everybody running in a million different directions — is that really even facilitating deeper relationships? I don’t really think so," she said.
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She also acknowledged her privilege.
At the same time, Hannah noted that she doesn't "want to sound ungrateful," admitting that she is "very fortunate, lucky, privileged" to be able to provide birthday parties for her kids. "But does it mean that I have to or that it’s the best choice?" she wondered. "That it’s the best use of the money, time, energy?"
Additionally, the birthday parties disrupt her family for days.
In the video, Hannah explained that her children are "high-energy kids to begin with." Parties with a ton of kids running everywhere take a toll on them for days.
"Their energy level is like at a million," she explained. "They don’t sleep the night before and they don’t sleep the night after. Everybody is cranky. Why am I doing this?"
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TikTok users didn't hesitate to share how they handle kids' birthdays.
In the comments, TikTokers shared how they approach hosting birthday parties for kids.
One person wrote, "You have a birthday party in your backyard, hotdogs, hamburgers, and cake and some games. Kids are fine with that. Everything doesn’t have to be an experience."
"I give my kids a buy out option, take the 500 bucks or have a party, they always pick the money," someone else commented.
"Our kids get a party for their even years birthdays and an experience for their odd years," another parent wrote. "Even still, I keep the parties at home or at a park & simple. Cake & pizza."
Someone else had a practical answer, writing, "After my kids turned 5, I started doing milestone birthdays. They would only have a party with friends when they turned these ages: 5, 10, 13, 16, 18…it saves a lot of money."
