I am 22 years old, and I’ve lost about 75% of my hair in the last nine years. I know, that sounds really young to lose your hair, but it's because I have PCOS.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, aka PCOS, is an endocrine system disorder that causes some women to produce more testosterone than normal, resulting in a lot of fun symptoms such as ovarian cysts, weight gain, excessive hair growth, and hair loss.
You might think being hairy like Chewbacca is the worst symptom of all, but the hair loss is the one I’ve had the most trouble dealing with. But now, my view on it has totally changed.
My hair loss journey began two years after I got my first period — around my freshman year of high school.
I vividly remember the day I found out I was losing my hair. I was looking through some photos I had taken earlier and noticed something unusual on my head. Zooming in, I realized it wasn't something — it was the absence of something; it was my scalp peeking through my hair. I panicked and rushed into the bathroom to look and confirmed I was indeed losing my hair.
All I can remember is breaking down in tears; aside from that, everything else is a big blur. As you can imagine, those pictures that first revealed my hair loss no longer exist.
As my hair slowly started falling, so did my life.
For the next couple of years I was in denial. As scary as it was to see clumps of hair coming out, I told myself it had to be normal. But it wasn’t: In five years I lost 50% of my hair. During that time I felt like I was alone because no one could relate to my issue, and instead of seeking help, I closed everyone and everything out of my life. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I did nothing to help the situation. As I felt my life coming to a complete stop, the hair loss did not cease.
You see, as women we hold a very deep relationship with our hair. For some, our hair is a reflection of our identity; to others, it symbolizes femininity. There is a reason why women spend an average of $50,000 on their hair over their lifetimes.
Although hair is essentially dead, it contributes a lot to how a woman feels about herself. The hair loss was very demoralizing, and I often felt as if I was less of a woman because of it. Psychologically, the hair loss had caused a lot of damage and insecurity within me.
Sorry mom, VapoRub is not the cure for everything!
My mother, although I loved her dearly, always thought she had a medical explanation for everything. Trust me, I’ve heard it all! She attributed my hair loss to water contamination and not eating enough vegetables. To please her, I would put all kinds of natural shit (like VapoRub) on my hair to stimulate re-growth, but sadly, nothing changed.
Pills, pills, and more pills.
I decided to finally consult a doctor after all those years. I was tired of hiding from the world and missing amazing opportunities because I was afraid of being myself. I had let my hair define me for way too long, and I knew I needed a change.
After multiple exams, doctor came to the conclusion that I had PCOS. As strange as this sounds, I was actually happy to hear they'd found the cause. For years I thought my hair loss was attributed to something wrong with me as a person, but in reality it was something biological all along.
Unfortunately, PCOS has no cure. There are medications that help control some of the symptoms caused by the condition, but it doesn't make it disappear. My doctors recommended I started taking birth control to help minimize the hair loss, but after only 10 days on the pill I realized that my hair was actually falling out twice as much as before. I tried three different versions of the pill and every time I got the same result.
After a lot of research, I decided the best option to regulate my hair loss was to go vegetarian. Yay veggies!
I embraced my hair loss and decided I wasn't going to try treatments that just did more damage.
I wanted to figure out whether a lifestyle change would help solve a lot of the problems that medicine couldn't. Blog after blog spoke about the amazing benefits of going dairy-free and meat-free for women struggling with PCOS, so I decided to take the plunge.
I couldn’t be happier with the results, though while going vegetarian has not helped my hair grow back, it definitely has reduced the hair loss significantly.
My life changed when I got "Iggy."
Going vegetarian was just the start. After researching about other options for my hair loss, I found that wigs were something many people often used. Although I felt like it was always a last resort, I decided I had nothing to lose and went for a fitting consultation. I was a bit nervous to show a stranger something I had only shown a handful of people, but it ended up being life-changing.
I tried all types of wigs — straight, curly, blond, short — and at the end I chose to get a topper instead. Just to give you a visual, if a wig and extensions had a baby, it would be a topper. It's not a full wig; it clips on top of my crown to mask the hair loss and blends naturally with my remaining hair.
My topper — which I named Iggy — has helped me understand that in life there is always a solution. Yes, I only have 25% of my hair, and when I lose more I’ll turn to wigs or hats, but it's not the end of the world. Everything has an answer, no matter how bad the situation.
Right now, I am at a point in my life where I am focusing on living my life to the fullest and not letting anything stop me from doing the things I love. I spent too many years crying over something that essentially was so insignificant.
For anyone out there who suffers from hair loss, know that you are not alone.
We often feel like our hair, our skin, or our bodies are a reflection of our identity, but we shouldn’t put so much importance on something that is external. Bald, chubby, hairy — no matter what, you are 100% beautiful.
