Our relationship with our in-laws can be complicated. Sometimes getting a sister-in-law is like getting an amazing new sister, but sometimes it’s like getting a feral dog that you can’t return to the pet store. The point being, nothing is guaranteed when you get in-laws. We were taught from a young age that while you don’t have to like your in-laws, you do have to be nice to them, out of respect for the person who brought you into the family. But sometimes, that feels impossible.
One wife and mother took to Reddit to get some advice on whether or not she overstepped when she got frustrated with her SIL who ignored the weight limitations on a cherished gift the OP’s son had bought and paid for with his own money.
To the mom, this was one of the best gifts ever.
The original poster starts with some background: “35F and my SIL is 46F. I have 3 children, the oldest being 16M. For my birthday last week my son went out and bought me this swinging hammock chair that I had been wanting for 2 years and it cost him quite a bit of his saved money (which I fully intend to put back in to his bank account so he can continue saving)."
She goes on to note, "He was so excited to see me open this gift and couldn’t wait to help me set it up."
Her sweet son gave the gift with love. "I told him he shouldn’t have, that it was a lot of money and his response was, 'You never get anything nice. I wanted you to have it.' And it was true. I usually don’t get anything for my birthday or Christmases outside of Tupperware or soaps. So it might sound stupid but I have cherished this swing ever since he got it for me, especially where I finally have something nice that's mine.”
But then the mom's sister-in-law came to visit.
OP’s SIL comes over once a week to visit OP and family. Upon arriving this particular week, she immediately headed straight for OP’s swing, which OP’s son had installed on their deck. OP told her to please not sit on it and SIL asked, “Is there a weight limit?"
OP told her yes, 250 pounds, and even showed her the box to confirm. SIL was not upset about this. In fact, she just said, "That's a bummer, they need to make something capable of holding us big girls." OP says she “simply agreed with her and went about my business."
But things took a turn. "At this point my husband shows up from work. When I went inside to grab us some drinks her and my husband are talking on the porch and not even 5 minutes later I hear a loud crash and my husband say, 'F—, are you alright?' I go out and sure enough she had sat in my swing and the crochet netting around the hook snapped on one side, causing her to fall right on her a–. She is sitting there laughing, gets up and says, 'I guess I need to learn to listen.'"
"So I lost it. As I said above, I literally never get anything nice. Never. This is the one thing that I had that was mine and it didn’t even take someone a freaking week before they ruined it for me. So I said, 'I literally just f—— told you not even 20 minutes ago that it would not hold you and to please not f—— sit in it."
SIL gave an excuse for why she sat in the swing.
"Usually the weight limit is a lie," she said. "I thought it would hold."
So OP said, "The weight limit probably would have held if you were only 50lbs heavier than it, not 150." According to OP, SIL is around 420 pounds, and “she is one of those girls who eat food on camera for money and she absolutely loves her weight.”
But instead of apologizing or offering to buy OP a new swing, she resorted to condescending and name-calling OP for making her feel like her weight is a problem. The OP's husband decided to take his sister's side.
Redditors had lot to say.
One Redditor pointed out what many of us are thinking: “Even if there wasn't an issue with the person physically, if the rightful owner doesn't want you touching things in their home and had explicitly told you not to do so – YOU. DON'T. TOUCH. It's also telling they waited for the husband to come home before trying anything, knowing there will be someone to whine to if you rightfully got mad. Not good people your husband's band. NTA.”
“And your husband and SIL can apologize to you and your son," suggested another poster. "Only then will everything be OK. You don’t get to break s— and laugh about it!”
Some more truth bombs headed from the Redditor community when one commenter wrote, “He also owes her an apology for not getting her nice things for Christmas and her birthday!!”
“Big Girl here!!!" noted another commenter. "She knew better and owe OP an apology and a new swing. I can’t imagine how her son will feel when he sees it. There are certain things big girls just know to stay away from – plastic lawn chairs, shaking chairs in other folks’ home, and anything that is secured like this swing was. Smdh OP is NTA.”
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