The months leading up to a wedding can be stressful, but they are also kind of magical. It’s a time full of hope and anticipation, each day one step closer to that dreamy “happily after ever.” So there is something especially heartbreaking about someone losing their fiancé in a car accident before they ever make it up the aisle. Obviously, this is a life-changing tragedy, and one would hope that someone experiencing it will get nothing but love and support from friends and family.
What nobody should experience is having to fight off family vultures trying to get their hands on the not-quite-a-bride’s wedding dress! In a recent post on Reddit’s popular Am I the A–hole forum, the widowed fiancé was the original poster, aka OP, who wrote in about her family drama to see if she was the unreasonable one in this situation. (Spoiler alert: NO.)
The unthinkable happened not long before her wedding was supposed to take place.
According to OP, she was supposed to get married in 2021 but her fiancé was killed in a car accident just a month before they were scheduled to be married. It was, according to her, “so devastating” and she “moved back with my parents to get some familiarity and support."
OK, so far so good.
If there was ever a time for family support, this would clearly be it.
In addition to her parents, OP also has a twin sister that she’s not especially close with. Her sister is now engaged and struggling with the costs of the wedding, which led to OP’s sister and mother joining forces to ask a REALLY big favor.
"I was shocked by her request."
A wedding dress is both deeply personal and really expensive, so it was a big ask when OP’s sister asked if she could have the dress OP tragically never got to wear. OP politely declined, which should have been the end of the conversation. But, duh, this is from AITA, so we know that it wasn’t.
As OP explained, "She and mom started talking about financial struggles and how I have the potential to help but I refuse to and [am] being negative. I explained to them how this dress has personal attachment and value after they said the wedding didn't happen anyway and I didn't get to make memories in it which was hard to hear."
"An argument ensued and my sister called me selfish and unsupportive," she shared.
The dress in question, which cost more than $2,000, is now dividing OP’s whole family as "Mom still sided with her and said I was wrong and that this dress will only stay hanging in the closet if I don't 'do something' with it since my fiancé isn't coming back and 'I refuse' to move on even though it hasn't even been that long," she shared.
"Dad is on my side but I started feeling like maybe I'm not being helpful seeing my sister struggling and needing help. Mom said this might make or break our relationship for the years to come especially when I don't have many people around me after this loss."
WOW. The internet was united about this mess.
Sometimes the commenters on AITA have a divided opinion on who the jerk is in a given situation, but not this one! According to one, "They are emotionally controlling you cause they know you are vulnerable as of the moment, and she has the audacity to be mad at you for feeling attach[ed] to a gown that is rightfully yours."
Another poster agreed and expressed both support and a realistic concern: What if the sister tries to steal the dress? "They basically gave you an ultimatum of the dress or them not even a year after losing your fiancé! They absolutely won't be stopped by your 'no' and steal it! You should try to hide it at a friend's house until the wedding is over."
We just can’t imagine how OP would feel watching her sister walk down the aisle in the dress she never got to wear. The fact that her mom and her twin would be willing to put her through that? Cold blooded! We hope OP finds love again and that her sister finds a dress of her own and makes a big apology.
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