We all know or have heard horror stories about brides who really lean hard into that whole "princess for a day" vibe when it comes to their weddings. For brides like that, a castle is probably an ideal dream wedding venue. And, sure, we can get the appeal of being married in a grand and historical location. But what if a historical location meant that the space wasn't handicap accessible and one of the most important guests was a child recently left paralyzed after being struck by a drunk driver?
Honestly, changing the location seems like it should be a no-brainer, especially if the child is soon to be the bride's stepdaughter. Well, if the internet and the AITA forum on Reddit has taught us anything, it's that people often not only refuse to make the no-brainer choice, they often double down and turn into real jerks about being asked to do the right thing!
According to the original poster, she and her future wife were already engaged when OP's 14-year-old daughter became a paraplegic less than a year ago. The couple had already put down a deposit for a castle that was the "dream venue" for OP's fiancée.
In the immediate aftermath of the accident, OP’s child wasn’t sure if she’d be up to attending a wedding at all.
According to OP, her child “was unsure whether she’d even want to come to the wedding or not and so told us not to change the wedding venue yet. So we planned everything as if it was at the castle, but we made sure to only buy things that would work on a flat wedding venue.”
The couple even identified a really nice alternate venue that they were “both more than happy with." So far, so good, but we know a twist is coming.
When OP’s child decided she was ready to attend the wedding in her wheelchair, it should have been a cause for celebration.
OP shares that she reached out to the backup venue and “booked it, knowing my fiancée would be OK as we had already discussed it.”
Now, we can see the argument that it wouldn’t have been a bad idea for OP to at least shoot her fiancée a text message before pulling the trigger on sending in the deposit, but we also see why she’d assume that her fiancée would do anything to make sure the girl could attend, especially since the teen “views my [fiancée] as her mum too.”
To OP's surprise, her fiancée “blew up” and accused OP of ruining “her childhood dream” by changing the venue. As for their daughter, who wouldn’t be able to navigate the castle in her wheelchair, the fiancée had a simple (and terrible) solution: She could watch the wedding over Zoom.
OP told her fiancée that there was "no way in hell" that her daughter was going to get left out of such a major life event because she is a wheelchair user.
Obviously we are team OP here, and are glad she’s sticking up for her daughter, but yikes. Holy red flags, Batman. It’s normal to be a little self-centered when sucked into the wedding crazy machine, but excluding the most important guest, who’d recently endured a devastating injury? It’s time for some cold feet to kick in.
The commenters of Reddit were pretty much united in their agreement that OP’s fiancée is the problem in this scenario. As one person pointed out, “You marry your dream person, not a damn building.” Another argued that OP should, “Pump the brakes on the wedding if there is the slightest sign your fiancée is not fully on board with all the extra care and emotional support your daughter will need for the long haul.”
One of the wisest responses from a commentator was, “your fiancée sounds like an absolute bridezilla. You might want to reconsider whether you want to marry this person who is showing you that her princess party is more important than your living daughter who needs a slight accommodation after a very serious trauma. As it's often said in this forum: 'when someone shows you who they are, believe them.'"
In a surprise twist, it turns out that OP took Reddit’s advice and called off the wedding after reading the comments. It’s rare that we think something good comes from following the guidance of a Reddit comment section, but we think OP and her daughter are way better off on their own!
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