When it comes to weddings, we’ve all been socialized to know there are just some rules a good guest never breaks: Don’t wear a white dress, don’t actually object when the minister asks for objections, and whatever happens, don't steal the bride's thunder! We can debate whether it’s actually kind of bananas that we put so much pressure on the idea of a wedding being a woman’s one magical, pretty princess day, but the truth is that weddings are a big deal and it makes sense that brides can be in an emotionally intense kind of place.
But does that give them the right to call someone an a–hole for showing up to the wedding pregnant and revealing their baby’s sex? Before we decide that, let’s dive into all the dirty details, care of Reddit's Am I the A–hole forum.
Here’s what went down, as told by the pregnant guest.
The original poster, or OP, shared that she’s a 36-year-old woman who is going through a divorce and is pregnant.
"My husband and I recently separated, and after that I found out I was pregnant. My extended family didn't know about the separation or about the pregnancy," she wrote.
"I told my brother I was pregnant when we spoke on the phone before the wedding, he congratulated me and that was more or less it. My family also knew my marriage was very rocky. My parents also knew about the pregnancy."
So even though the OP hadn’t gone out of her way to announce her pregnancy to her extended family (she noted she wasn’t close with them), it wasn’t like it was a big secret from either the groom or the bride-to-be.
And she continued. "So I am 7 months pregnant right now and getting a divorce. When I showed up to the wedding, everyone was super shocked to see me be pregnant and alone there. A lot of questions followed, I answered them with as little info as possible and that was it."
So far, so good. It's hard to see a lot of potential for drama there. But never fear — the wedding emotion monster was still waiting in the wings.
According to OP, the priest referenced her pregnancy during the ceremony (What?? That warrants a bit of a side-eye, we think.) and then "Bride was p—ed off, because now EVERYONE knew I was pregnant. During the picture taking part of the reception, my brother says 'OK and now I want to take a pic with my favorite sister and my FIRST nephew.' I laughed and said 'niece, actually' and he was super happy, we took a pic, that's it."
Oh, silly OP. Apparently that comment was definitely not OK with the bride.
The wedding drama really started after "just my brother, the bride, and the photographer heard the gender 'announcement.' But then the bride started screaming and crying that I ruined the wedding by 'telling everyone I am having a girl' (and that's when all guests find out)."
After the wedding, the bride continued to accuse her SIL of stealing her thunder.
"Bride came to me later and called me an a–hole for upstaging her wedding with not just my pregnancy but also the 'baby gender announcement.' Her family is obviously on her side, my brother thinks she is acting crazy and I did nothing wrong, and my parents think I should have informed people I was pregnant before coming to the wedding + should have kept quiet about gender."
We’re guessing that when the bride tells the story, she frames it as “my sister-in-law showed up with a surprise pregnancy and did a gender reveal during our photos.”
It’s hard to fault OP for showing up looking pregnant when she’s seven months along and dropping in the fact that she was having a niece instead of a nephew.
What was she supposed to do? Text every single guest the news that she was expecting? Build a time machine to go back seven months and not get pregnant? Not attend the wedding and then get accused of ruining the party by not coming?
OP really didn't have any other options.
Other than the bride being a total drama queen, posters at Reddit actually identified the real thunder stealer in this whole mess: the priest.
As one commenter noted, "But the priest … yeah, the priest is the AH of the story. They shouldn't have mentioned the pregnancy in the ceremony. That was way out of line."
Another poster agreed, arguing "how freaking inappropriate is it to make that sort of a comment or joke during a wedding ceremony? Honestly it’s not cool to even ask married couples when they’re going to have kids/tease them about having kids, because you don’t know [their] plans or if they have sensitive issues around conception.
"Also you’re literally just talking about them having sex regularly, which doesn’t suddenly become cool to say about other people just because they’re married," the person continued. "But DURING THE D— CEREMONY?! In my opinion, the officiant should have a pre-approved script and stick to it. You don’t go off-book at someone’s wedding ceremony."
Amen to that! We’re going to award the thunder stealing award to the priest with an honorable mention to the bride herself, who managed to steal her own thunder.
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