No longer the exclusive domain of the "elite" β and by that I mean the extremely well-connected, thin, and white β platforms like Instagram have opened the doors for EVERYONE to participate in the world of style. Β
But it's not all awesome.Β
Along with this accessibility comes the pressure to be ~perfect~ at all times. From YouTubers abusing FaceTune to no-makeup looks that require 15 products (but are still tagged #IWokeUpLikeThis), the stress is REAL β and one Instagram star is getting real about it.
This is Erika. You may know her from your IG feed as @erikalipps
She posts a lot of body positive style photos, talks about β and gives mini-reviews of β skin care products, and experiments with her signature big-lashed beauty look. She's basically amazing, and following her is one of the best things I've done on Instagram in a long time. Her 75K followers clearly agree.
Showing up for all the "weird girls," Erika uses her massive social platform to spread positivity β because there's not just ONE SINGLE WAY to be beautiful.
"Any time someone compliments me I get really emotional, because my entire life I was told I was no good and ugly and undesirable," she wrote. "I love you all so much, and you help me every day, and I don't cry as much anymore."
But that can be a double-edged sword. While celebrating her own beauty, Erika often gets hundreds of comments from girls comparing themselves to her.
According to my very unscientific studies, "I wish I looked like you," is like the #1 most common comment on her IG.
A couple of weeks ago, Erika uploaded this photo β and it started a major firestorm.
"OK, this is a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT," Erika wrote.
"A lot of people think my face is perfect, but it's literally not, and I wear TONS of makeup even when I do "No-makeup makeup" looks. Do not hold yourself up to these standards bc they truly are not real […] Sometime I feel like a liar by posting best pics of myself, because hello this is social media […] I don't want young girls to feel the need to keep up with these standards because THEY ARE UNATTAINABLE. Sometimes I look at my own pictures and am like, How did I do that? How do I look like that?"
In other words, you can't compare your real life to a well-posed, cleverly edited snapshot of someone else's.
Perfection is a lie, and despite the fact that there's more room at the table now, social media standards of beauty are STILL unattainable. Not even the perfect-seeming people of Instagram look like that all the time! Erika is far from the first person to call this out β but she did get a LOT of hate over it, as her fans began dragging her for dragging herself.
"Love yourself, it's 2016," wrote one commenter.
"You don't need to tear yourself down smdh," wrote another.
"YOU'RE STILL PERFECT DON'T HATE YOURSELF," wrote someone else.
This went on for QUITE a long time β until Erika had had enough.
Erika edited the original post: "Didn't think I'd need to clarify, but y'all dragging me for thinking I'm dragging myself? NO."
"This is not a post about how *uGLy* I think I am. This is a post for all the young girls who follow me and tell me they wished they looked like me. This is a reminder that what you see on Instagram is highly curated and not real life. This post is about […] realizing that the people you admire on here can't even keep up with their own beauty standard they create for themselves."
"I am not tearing myself down in order to bring y'all up," she said. "It's really not even about me at all."
"Don't feed into the pressure of having to look like some girl you see on Instagram!" she added. "I love you all and just want you all to love yourselves the way you are, and remember that you are special and important, despite how you look."
Erika's posts have exposed a huge problem in both the body positivity and beauty communities β the idea that loving yourself means only ever being happy and ~inspirational~ all the time.
I fully understand that negative talk β about your body, about your face β tends to be self-reinforcing; the more you talk shit about yourself and others, the more you believe it's true. But it's almost more dangerous to TOTALLY PROHIBIT discussion of negative feelings altogether. Nobody feels amazing about themselves 24/7, and pretending that we do β like nothing in the world affects us β just sets up even MORE unrealistic expectations about how women should be.
Erika is allowed to say stuff like "I have always always thought I looked basic AF, and wished I had a more unique look." Sharing your negative feelings can be AWESOME. It lets others going through the same thing know they're not alone, as well as helping you process them. Demanding that everyone on social NEVER share anything except ~empowering, relatable content~ is unfair. It doesn't make you body negative; it makes you real. And realness is what we should be celebrating!
Erika is a QUEEN, and I am so happy that she's speaking up about this stuff β because it deserves a conversation.
If you haven't already, follow her here for even more outfit, face mask, and eyelash inspiration. Here's to even more realness in 2016!
