A single mom’s journey isn’t easy. It’s full of hard work, criticism from others, and a never-ending stream of little emergencies that make it feel impossible to relax. Sometimes a mom just needs to get herself off.
Finding time for self-pleasure is no easy task, and there’s no guarantee it’ll be free of interruptions, but for those moms who want to connect with their bodies through masturbation, there are a few tricks that can help.
Why Masturbate?
What’s the big deal with masturbation, anyway? Single moms often miss meals, vacation days, and personal appointments due to the hustle and bustle of everyday life — why focus on sex?
First off, none of those things are healthy. All moms will have to compromise at least a little, but neglecting your well-being isn’t sustainable. You might not have time to fix every issue that pops up, but you can dedicate a few minutes to nurture your sexuality.
The benefits of self-pleasure are clear. You’ll sleep better, relieve stress, reduce muscle tension and cramps, and strengthen your pelvic muscles. Connecting with your sexuality in this way also boosts your self-esteem and increases your sex drive.
This isn’t about having better sex with a partner. It’s only about you. It’s finding out what you like, what your body needs, and how to get there. Getting in touch with your body will make partnered sex better in the future (if that’s what you want), but more importantly, it’ll help you satisfy yourself.
Finding the Time
Single moms don’t have much time to themselves, so it’s not always easy to masturbate. But there are a few moments that you can dedicate to yourself.
I’ve found that showering is one of the most reliable times for a mom to masturbate. Taking a few minutes extra minutes to play with your showerhead, favorite toy, or even just your fingers can lift your spirits for the whole day.
Masturbation before sleep is another winner. Not only does it help you relax, but you’ll also have some privacy before bed and be able to devote a few minutes to yourself. Even if you’re tired, I recommend gently touching yourself for a minute or so to see if your mood changes.
No two moms are the same, so other times will depend on your schedule. If your kids are in school, at appointments, on playdates, or anywhere else while you’re not working, you can seize those moments for mommy time.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with tasks at home, try trading time. I advise my clients to pick at least one or two nonessential household tasks (not to be confused with career tasks) and trade that time for sexual self-appreciation. This might mean an extra day of dirty dishes or unfolded laundry, but you get that effort back by relieving stress and nurturing your sexuality.
Allowing Yourself the Time
In my years practicing sex therapy, I’ve found that the moms I counsel usually have some time for self-pleasure, but they don’t allow themselves that time. They might feel guilty about doing it, prioritize other tasks, or have other reasons for avoiding sexual activity.
Mothers deserve healthy lives as much as their children do, but few treat themselves that way. Self-love is something you have to make time for and prioritize. If you’re trying to get started, you should set an attainable goal, such as once per week, and stick to it.
Most importantly, try not to think of masturbation as a guilty pleasure. To some extent, nearly all humans have sexual needs, and most women masturbate anyway. Treat it like self-care — like something you deserve — and you’ll naturally begin to give yourself more time to do it.
Takeaways
Your journey in sexual self-love won’t be the same as anyone else’s, so don’t worry if you get interrupted or have to reschedule masturbation at first. As with anything, it’ll become easier and more natural to fit into your life the more you try.
Sexuality is more than just pleasure. It’s a part of you that affects the whole of your being, never goes away, and benefits your health when you pay attention to it. Ultimately, you deserve the joy and sensation it brings.
*Disclaimer: The advice on CafeMom.com is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.
