Everyone knows that shopping for bras is a nightmare. And the worst thing about it — worse than terrible lighting, worse than literally feeling naked and afraid — is actually finding your bra size.
It's not uncommon for women to wear several completely different bra sizes, depending on the store, style, and fit of the bra — and we're still getting it wrong. An estimated 64% of women in the US wear the wrong-sized bra</a>; I personally have five different band and cup combinations in my lingerie drawer.
And that's bullshit. Bra sizing is supposed to be based on a series of standard measurements, but as we all know, every C-cup is totally different.
But exactly *how* different? Jess and I decided to find out, and demonstrate exactly *how* nonsensical bra sizing has truly become. We were measured for our "true" bra size — the size that, based on the measurements of our bodies, we SHOULD wear across brands, styles, and colors. We then bought different bras in those sizes only; not sizing up or down according to the whims of the companies.
And yes, insanity did ensue.
First things first: Jess and I, separately, went to Rigby and Peller's 5th Avenue store to be correctly fitted for a bra.
The staff at Rigby and Peller TRULY know their shit — they train for six to eight weeks to ensure they know EXACTLY how to measure people's bodies for underthings.
All the bra experts who helped us said that because sizing varies so much, the concept of an actual bra size is a bit of a lie. But we persisted. At the end of the day, the results were in: My "true" bra size is 30D, and Jess is a 46C.
Next, we established the parameters of our boobs-periment.
Jess and I both ordered four bras in a variety of styles — a "sexy" bra, a T-shirt bra, a strapless bra, and a cheap bra. We were ONLY allowed to get bras in our "true" sizes.
Our goal was to demonstrate how insane the variation in size can be from bra to bra, and how these basic products — which should be based on simple measurements — are anything but. But even we weren't prepared for the nonsense we discovered.
The first bras we tried in our "true" sizes were the SEXY bras. And they were exceptionally hot.
I'm wearing the Eva balconette bra in 30D ($92, Journelle). Jess is wearing the rose unlined bra from Lane Bryant ($46, Lane Bryant).
This bra was not only beautiful, but it fit me perfectly. I was feeling really optimistic about this experiment.
These are the six ways to know if a bra TRULY fits you, and this baby ticked off. Every. Single. One.
Plus, it was BEAUTIFUL. As someone who wears a small band size, I can't tell you how important that is to me.
Real talk: It's hard to find band sizes smaller than a 32, and it's REALLY hard to find them in a D cup. When I do, the bras tend to be aimed at teenage girls — so they're bright and colorful, but not sexy in the way that I'm looking for. This bra looked amazing, fit perfectly, and made me feel like the hottest bitch on the block. That's the kind of bra magic I'm looking for.
Jess' sexy bra was equally hot — and well-fitting. "There are really only a few places where I can shop for bras as a plus-size woman," she said.
"I know I'll always find my size at Lane Bryant, and its bras are usually pretty true to size. It makes me anxious to shop online, though, because you never really know how it's going to fit."
"It's rare to find sexy bras that fit well AND are in a color other than black or beige," said Jess. "My size doesn't have a lot of options, so I was really happy to find this bra, which was perfect."
"This bra looked bomb as fuck," said Jess. "The purple and red was hot together, and I liked that it was a little see-through. The cage part in the front was cute; I liked that this was comfortable, but also really sexy."
"Plus, the straps didn't cut in to my shoulders. That's something that always kills me."
"If all the bras fit this good, I'm gonna be happy."
After trying on the sexy bras in our true sizes, we were both feeling really good about ourselves. "I was nervous about this," said Jess. "But maybe it won't be so bad?"
SO wrong.
And we were about to find out exactly HOW wrong we were.
Next, we tried strapless bras in what was ALLEGEDLY our "true sizes." And we entered a nightmare world, a living hell of our own creation.
I'm wearing a Calvin Klein "naked glamour" strapless bra in 30D ($40, Bloomingdales</a>); Jess is wearing Torrid's floral lace strapless bra in 46C ($55, Torrid).
I'm smiling in this photo, but on the inside, I am ACTUALLY DYING. This bra was SO tight, it nearly strangled me into a panic attack.
That's not an exaggeration: I could hardly breathe. I started sweating and getting white dots behind my eyes. The only thing that comes between me and my Calvins is ANXIETY, APPARENTLY.
From the front, the bra didn't look bad. From the side, though, you get the full heinous quadraboob picture.
NO.
STOP.
WHY.
HOW DARE YOU.
And weirdly, even Calvin Klein knows this sizing is complete bullshit — while looking up details for this story, I found this same bra listed at Nordstrom. The sizing information (presumably provided by the brand) says, "Runs small; order one cup size up."
OR YOU COULD JUST MAKE THE BRA THE RIGHT SIZE, FFS.
Everything about this bra physically hurt: the too small cups, the boa constrictor band. But it wasn't until I took it off that I saw what this strapless bra had done.
After wearing it for 10 minutes, the underwire of this bra had DUG INTO MY CHEST SO HARD THAT THE SKIN WAS BROKEN. The next day, I had a bruise. It was horrible.
Just for shits and giggles, I measured the band of this bra once I'd taken it off — and discovered the problem. Whereas most 30-band bras I wear measure 23" from end to end, this Calvin Klein strapless only measured 20.5".
Why even have sizes on your bras if they're going to vary so much?
"I'm picky about my strapless bras, but I thought this one was really cute," Jess said. "The full cups looked like they'd give me support, and the black trim made me feel summery."
"I love off-the-shoulder tops and dresses, so I honestly really like strapless bras," Jess said. "But as soon as I pulled this out of the box, I knew something was wrong."
Well, TWO things were wrong. "These cups were SO big!" she said. "You could fit TWO of each of my boobs in those cups, plus a bowl of cereal."
"Each of these cups fit like it was at least three sizes too big. Why would I order the equivalent of an F-cup bra if I only wear a C? Who's making these measurements?"
"The good news was that the band fit perfectly. If Torrid's C-cups weren't Cs, at least their 46 band was REALLY a 46."
"If the cups had fit, this would have been a great bra."
Overall, our "true size" strapless adventure was a freaking bust.
As I writhed in pain and Jess' boobs sloshed around in the too-large cups, we reflected on our journey. The whole reason that clothes — including bras — have sizes is to make it easier to know which item is actually going to fit you. Bra sizes are supposed to be based on measurements. If these aren't consistent in any way, why even bother having sizes? Why not just throw all the bras in the world in a pile and let us consult the oracle on which one is going to fit.?
It's ridiculous. And it was about to get even more so.
We picked up the pieces of our shattered confidence, and tried a pair of classic T-shirt bras next.
Jess and I both live in T-shirts and crop tops, so something simple and smooth is basically essential. I'm wearing a Wacoal T-shirt bra in 30D ($40, Nordstrom</a>); Jess is wearing an Ashley Stewart burnout bra in 46C ($32, Ashley Stewart).
At first, I thought that this bra was cute, smooth, and might actually be comfortable. But then I realized how wrong I was.
Though it looks OK from the front, this bra is WAY too big. How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.
First, the band was too big. WAY too big.
As bra experts have told me, a correctly-fitting bra should feel like “a firm hug,” but not cut into you. At first, you should wear it on the loosest hook — moving in as you wear the bra and the elastic stretches. You should never, ever have to wear a brand new bra on the tightest hook, and you should never, ever be able to pull it away from your body this much.
The cups had enough room in them to smuggle a series of priceless jewels out of the museum after dark.
Is there a worse feeling than not filling out a bra, I ask you?
And instead of laying flat, the gore of the bra was pulling away and reaching for the sky. But that's not the craziest thing about this bra.
The craziest thing is that up until recently, I would have 100% believed that this bra fit. If I hadn't had a professional fitting and felt firsthand what a properly fitted bra feels like, I'd have taken this poor support, gaping band, and massive cups and thought, "Yep, this is fine."
It's no wonder the majority of women in the US don't wear the right size bra. How could they, when bra companies are literally lying to them about size and fit?
Even after watching my struggle, Jess was still optimistic. "I like T-shirt bras, especially in bright colors," she said. "I thought this was fun and it looked like it would have good support."
"But even though it looked cute, it didn't fit. The band was so big, I could fit another person in there."
"And the cups were big enough to fit my hopes and dreams in there under my breasts."
"And even when I tightened the straps, they just didn't give me the support I needed. They alternated between being loose like this, and cutting into my shoulders. It wasn't OK."
"Plus-size women don't need to deal with this. We already have a hard time finding CLOTHES that fit us, and then there are all these bras trying to play us. It's disrespectful."
Once again, we weren't happy. "T-shirt bras should be a basic piece," said Jess. "And they should be easy to find in any size. What it comes down to is that companies are lying to people about their sizing, and we're paying the price for it."
"Ten years ago, I would have said this blue bra fit me," Jess said. "I have scars from bras that didn't fit, but I was told that was my size, so that's what I assumed fit me."
And that's exactly it. By having such a bizarre range of sizes and fits, but only one universal sizing system, underwear companies are totally fucking us over. Jess and I are both women working in fashion. We are able to — hell, we can afford — to go and get professional bra fittings. Many women don't have this, so they'll just accept the crappy fits because what other alternative do they have?
Seriously. Companies can do so much better.
Finally, we went shopping for the CHEAPEST bras we could possibly find. And it was an adventure.
Because who doesn't love an inexpensive thrill, right? I'm wearing a Betsey Johnson lace demi cup in 30D ($23, Nordstrom</a>); Jess is wearing a Playtex 18-hour bra in 46C ($20, Target).
I hate shopping for bras for a few reasons: Stores never have my size, and if they do, they're either A) insanely expensive, or B) aimed squarely at teens.
Cheap bras with a small band size are always either bralettes (zero support) or super-cute-aimed-at-teens things, like this pink number. I don't want to be stuck in the Juniors' section because grown-ass lingerie brands don't think I exist.
This is all you get if you don't have a lot of money to spend and wear a band size 30.
Not. Cool.
Though the band was (blessedly!) tight enough, the narrow spaghetti double-straps cut straight into my shoulder meats, and my breasts spilled right over the cups.
NNNNNNNNOPE.
Jess was also suffering in her cheap bra. "This bra is UGLY," she said. "Plus-size women have no choices. You either spend all your money on bras that look cute, or this is what you're stuck with."
"Alle said that cheap bras in her size are usually for little kids. Cheap bras in MY size are for grandmas."
The band underneath flipped up, and the thick straps dug ALL the way into her shoulders. Plus, there was the pointy elephant in the room.
"What shape does this bra make my breasts? Really?"
In the end, saving money wasn't worth our boob-sanity. Sadly, cheap bras in our "true" sizes were disasters.
"All I want is a bra that makes me feel good and LOOK good," said Jess. "This makes me feel like I'm wearing bandages. I'm not feeling very confident at all in this, and I know women like me would feel the same."
So, at the end of our "true size" experiment, what did we learn?
We learned that bra sizing is completely, totally arbitrary.
We learned that band sizes are nonsense. In the four bras I tried, the bands varied in length by three full inches; for Jess, the size variance was five inches. This is nonsense; you need a correctly-fitting band for support.
We learned that cups — which we're constantly told are standard — are anything but. If Jess is drowning in one C-cup and spilling over another, that tells us that this gold standard of measurement ISN'T working.
Bra companies: Do better. People NEED bras — we don't need to spend days trying on every size and style made just to find something that *kinda* fits.
Your measurements and your sizing system is failing us. Women of all sizes deserve so much better than this.
