
Typically, proposing at someone else’s wedding is about as popular as announcing a pregnancy at a baby shower. It’s generally frowned upon because the person being celebrated may feel a little bit of the sparkle of their big day has been taken away. But sometimes, people just get caught up in the moment, and really, if they’re not obviously stealing the bride or mom-to-be’s thunder, is it really that big of a deal?
Wedding etiquette is a fickle thing and, honestly, situational. What’s fine at one celebration may be a 100% no-go at another. One man found out the hard way that his brother and newly minted sister-in-law were not fond of having their thunder stolen, even after the fact. The man is feeling a little confused and went to Reddit for some advice.
The Original Poster, aka OP, turned to people online to get some perspective about the situation.
“My brother and his wife got married last week," he explained. "It was a big beach wedding with about 100 people. While the bride and groom were doing their photoshoot that took an hour, the guest[s] were walking down the beach, having some snacks that were served, talking to each other etc. We were waiting for the dinner to be served and just killing time.”
OP continued, “My GF and I have been together for 10 years and have a kid together. Marriage just never came up. We are both reaaally not the romantic type. When our son was born, I jokingly told her I'd propose to her on a beach at sunset someday.”
While spending time on the beach, he decided the moment had arrived.
After the wedding, OP was walking down the beach with his girlfriend and they were completely alone. No one was paying attention to them because there were so many people there.
He was overcome with emotion and suddenly moved to make good on his promise of a someday proposal, so he just asked her "so, beach at sunset … Will you marry me?"
She said yes, they had a good laugh, took a selfie together, and slowly walked back to the site of the reception. No harm, no foul, right? Wrong.
The proposal got some backlash.
“We haven't told anyone we are getting married yet, it will be a courthouse wedding anyway. Two days ago my GF posted that selfie on her social media, tagged me and wrote a caption 'finally marrying the love of my life, and a sunset beach proposal!'" he wrote.
"Now everyone who knows us KNEW it was a sarcastic caption and knew it was more a joking post than anything else. Brother and SIL called us very upset hours after that post. SIL said we ridiculed their wedding with our post. Brother said I'm an AH for proposing at someone else's wedding.”
Redditors overwhelmingly sided with the newly engaged man.
OP isn’t sure if what he did was wrong. He wasn’t trying to upstage anyone. Instead, he genuinely just got swept up in the moment. Either way, he was feeling conflicted and wanted some advice from people online.
The Reddit community was pretty resolute and agreed with him.
“I was ready to say you're the asshole but you didn't propose in front of everybody, you didn't announce it at the reception and you waited two days to post it so NTA," one person commented. "SIL is the one who is ridiculous here.”
Another commenter concurred, writing, “I actually agree with you on this. Had any of the other guests noticed then a definite Y T A. But the way this was under the radar. I’d go with NTA.”
Lastly, this commenter cut through all the rigmarole: "He made a promise to his gf and did it. No harm no foul!”
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