Marriages are always filled with pain points, but perhaps the one line no couple wants to cross is messing with one another's sleep. Whether they are parents or not, sleep is essential, and good sleep is especially essential for working partners.
And after a few rough nights with her "inconsiderate" husband, one wife decided to move into the guest bedroom — and he absolutely can't understand why.
The problem began when the husband got a promotion and his shift changed at work.
"This meant that his 10am-6pm shift has now been switched 4am to noon," she explained. "He isnt a morning person at all so most mornings he will start huffing and puffing as soon as his alarm goes off and he will instantly turn on our light and very loudly start looking for his work clothes."
She had a simple request.
"I have asked him several times to put clothes out the night before and he has yet to do so," she reported. "I have also asked him to not turn the light on or be super loud. After all, when I worked at 5am I made sure to be respectful of him sleeping."
Naturally it ended up coming to a head.
"So yesterday morning when he got up at 3am and flipped on the light, I grabbed my stuff and went to the guest room," she wrote. "He came in and asked what I was doing. I told him that since he didnt respect me sleeping, at all, that I would be staying in the guest room from now on. He made a comment about 'The light will only be on for 5 freaking minutes.' Which is not true. He turns the light on, finds himself clothes and then goes to take a shower without turning the light off. If I turn the light off, he will come back into the room after the shower and turn it on again to grab his socks and put on his shoes. (Which also pisses me off because shoes stay in the kitchen by the door and there's no reason he cant put them on at the table)."
His reaction was less than ideal.
"Anyways, instead of understanding, he just got angry," she wrote. "Mainly because he is not a morning person and he doesnt like dealing with anything in the AM. So, while he was at work yesterday, I moved all my stuff into the guest room. Last night he practically begged me to sleep in the bedroom and promised to let me sleep. Well, this morning he flips on the light again so I sit up and I'm like 'Are you kidding me right now?' And he says 'I'm being quiet!' As if that was the only issue. So I went into the guest room and locked the door. I told him I was staying in here from now on despite his efforts to sway me. He thinks I'm overreacting."
People mostly sided with her and assured her that her feelings are valid.
"He is being completely disrespectful,' agreed one user. "Honestly, if he can't get up in the middle of the night without waking his partner, he should be the one sleeping in the guest room. But since he seems to be completely inconsiderate I recommend you stay there. You are not overreacting, not even a little."
A few others noted this may be indicative of other issues.
"Let’s normalize couples sleeping in separate beds/rooms," suggested one commenter. "Different people have different sleep requirements."
Others thought it was a little more insidious than the wife was really realizing and urged her to seek marriage counseling.
"He knows exactly what he's doing," assured one user. "He hates getting up in the morning and resents OP being able to sleep later so he's punishing her by making sure she wakes up. He wants her to know how much he's suffering having to get up on the morning."
