
The changes a person’s body endures before, during, and after bringing a life into the world are drastic. Organs shift. You retain water, and quite necessarily, gain weight. The body that once worked solely to keep you alive is suddenly redirecting nutrients to the new life you’re carrying. It’s no small feat. And when it’s all said and done and the baby’s been born, it can take a while to conceptualize what just happened.
Not only do your hormones take a while to settle down, but all of that transition and change can lead to a range of feelings — some mild and others more significant. One new mother dealing with postpartum depression recently had a falling out with her friends and it’s left them wondering if they were too insensitive.
More from CafeMom: Moms Reveal What Postpartum Depression Really Feels Like
A Reddit user and his girlfriend were invited to a pool party with a bunch of their friends.
On Reddit, one of these friends wrote in to see if he and his girlfriend were being a–holes to the new mom. The OP explained that he, his girlfriend, and a group of their friends were invited to a barbecue/pool party.
One of the people there was Christine, a woman who had not only just given birth a few months ago, but had subsequently developed postpartum depression. Christine’s entire pregnancy was rough and she was “looking forward to the occasion to help lighten her mood,” the OP wrote. Sadly, that didn’t happen.
More from CafeMom: How To Ask for Help as a New Mom Struggling With PPD
The OP said his girlfriend, who is a model and influencer, stole the show.
The OP’s girlfriend Alex, just so happens to be a model and influencer. At the pool party, everyone was wearing swimwear. According to the OP, while all of the women wore bikinis or swimsuits, “Alex stole the show.” “She didn’t wear anything too revealing or inappropriate, but it did turn heads,” the OP explained.
As Alex was mixing and mingling at the party, another friend in the group approached the OP and asked if Alex could cover up a bit. “Christine was getting upset by her appearance,” Jane told the OP.
The OP asked his girlfriend to cover up. She refused.
The OP was confused, but Jane explained that Christine’s PPD had “manifested itself into a bad case of body dysmorphia. She said Alex is making her jealous and triggering her dysmorphia.” Although the OP was confused, he still took Jane’s request to Alex.
She said she understood Christine's situation, but that she would not oblige. “She didn’t understand why she had to cover up for the sake of someone else’s feelings.” She didn’t do it.
Two hours later, Christine left because she couldn’t stop crying. Jane told the OP that he and Alex were a–holes for not being accommodating to Christine’s feelings.
The Reddit community agrees the OP was NTA.
But the Reddit community doesn’t feel the same way. Many agree that Christine needs to find a way to manage her own triggers.
“It didn’t matter what your girlfriend wore, Christine was going to get upset with someone,” one fellow mom wrote. “It wasn’t your girlfriend, it was the environment. Christine wasn’t ready…Christine is going to have to get comfortable with her new body – and can be tough. But that’s some inner work she has to do, it’s no one else’s responsibility.”
Trying to dictate what someone else does with their body is a problem.
Another user mentioned the fact that asking someone to cover their body for your comfort is unacceptable.
“If this were an issue where someone was uncomfortable because they found the appearance of someone else's body very unappealing, then asking them to cover up would be out if the question,” the user shared. “Someone shouldn't have to cover up because they look ‘too good.’”
We have to agree. We empathize with Christine’s feelings — they’re real and valid, but they don’t give her the right to attempt to dictate what others choose to do with their own bodies. To be honest, we're kind of glad Alex stood up for herself as all women should, regardless of body size, shape, or status.
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