How To Ask for Help as a New Mom Struggling With PPD

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Many mothers experience postpartum depression, but the stigma still exists. Moms are expected to be the primary caretakers of their families, despite how challenging that can be, especially shortly after giving birth. You might think you have to overcome your hardships alone to be strong for your family. But no one can do everything by themselves. Here’s how you can learn to ask for help as a new mom struggling with PPD.

Recognize the Symptoms

Having a baby is an intense and emotional experience. Whatever fears you have, they’re valid, and you should recognize and try to understand them so you can process and heal. Many new moms go through a short stage after giving birth that involves anxiety, mood swings, and other similar symptoms.

It usually lasts a few weeks, and it’s common to feel this way as you adjust to life with a newborn. Other moms experience these and other symptoms for much longer, and they're often more severe. PPD can last months if it isn’t properly recognized and treated. Depression symptoms vary, but some common signs of PPD are intense anger and irritability, withdrawal, and loss of interest in loved ones and activities, problems sleeping, and thoughts of self-harm.

While the condition is often called the “baby blues,” it’s more than simply being sad. New moms need support from every angle, including recognizing symptoms for what they are and not dismissing them. Reaching out for help can be challenging, but it’s the first step to getting the help that you and your baby need.

Be Open & Honest

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Honesty is always the best policy, especially when it comes to being a mother. Your natural maternal instinct is to protect your baby from harm, but what about yourself? The first step to healing is acknowledging the problem. You may try to hide how you’re feeling, but that won’t help you in the long run. Set clear expectations with your loved ones, so they know how to help out.

Open up and discuss how you’re feeling with your partner, friends, family, or doctor. It’s challenging for others to understand what you need without communicating with them. Dealing with this alone can lead to feelings of isolation that can worsen your symptoms. If you experience any symptoms of depression that worry you or last more than two weeks, you should call your doctor. Your doctor likely has several avenues of treatment available for PPD, including for new moms who are breastfeeding. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Delegate Responsibilities

The responsibility that comes with being a new mom is overwhelming and can feel like it's too much to handle. Enlist friends and family members to help you with chores, meals, and other tasks that they can do for you.

Don’t underestimate your friends and family and their willingness to help. You might be surprised how eager they are to come to your aid once you ask. If you don’t have that support, consider hiring a baby doula to stay in your home temporarily after the baby is born. A baby doula can help with a myriad of tasks and help you and your significant other get some sleep.

You are still a superhero even if you can’t get to everything all at once. Who can? Ask for help with chores, dinners, errands, or babysitting while you get some time to yourself – whatever you need, just ask for it. You can outsource dinner by signing up for a food delivery service. Doing so can minimize the decisions you’re responsible for, which can significantly lighten your load.

Connect With Other Moms

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Connecting with other moms can be really beneficial for those new to motherhood. It can sometimes be easier to open up to complete strangers than your inner circle.

Talking to others that are going through similar situations as you are can help you feel understood, supported, and heard. You can join support groups on social media or look for online forums that offer support and advice about what you’re going through.

Your doctor can point you in the right direction about where to find local in-person support groups. Hospitals often have volunteers who have experienced PPD and want to offer their services. You might be surprised how quickly you find new friends. Moms in the trenches together can relate to one another better than anyone else, so they often form bonds that can last a lifetime.

Asking for Help

Living with PPD doesn’t define you or make you a bad mom — it makes you human. New moms are already exhausted after giving birth, so adding PPD on top can feel like too much to bear.

Many resources are available for new moms, so take advantage of them. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.