I had a great childhood and was raised in a positive environment, but like anything, it wasn’t perfect. There was a fair amount of shouting, plenty of verbal fighting between my parents, and some seriously angry outbursts. Nothing physical between people, but perhaps physically damaging, as in, your hand will likely bleed and at the very least hurt when you ball it into a fist and put it through a wall in frustration. Which perhaps explains why I followed a similar track when my parenting days rolled around.
Raising kids is hard. There are so many things to try to do right, so many expenses, and so … many … diapers. As such, I think it’s fair to say that parents are likely to find themselves frustrated, and maybe even angry, along the way. I certainly was early on — our kids are now all teenagers — and it led to plenty of angry outbursts from me.
After one particularly unfortunate episode that left my hand stuck in a door — it was hollow core — my wife told me this behavior was scaring her. I can pretty much point to that one statement as to why I’ve been so patient with the kids ever since. I mean, nobody’s perfect, and I do end up on the struggle bus here and there. However, generally speaking, we’re keeping calm and carrying on around here.
I’m not a scientist, but I can clearly see that kids learn their behavior patterns from their parents. In that context and after that door abuse instance, I realized how important it was to me that my kids did NOT grow up observing explosive anger. Which meant putting a lid on it, but first figuring out how. I’m a simple guy and figured a punching bag would be the most obvious alternative to doors and walls. So, I joined a local kickboxing gym that specialized in jiu-jitsu.
For any parents out there who get so aggravated with the day-to-day that they want to hit something, I highly recommend this path. Between grappling with another person to the point of submission and unloading your fists and legs into another human (who is wearing pads) I can tell you, this is the way. I’ve always enjoyed ending a workout with that extra effort that leaves you completely roasted. Kickboxing and jiu-jitsu, when done with vigor, will absolutely drain the tank. And in my case, leave me ready to face the kid-rearing days with aplomb.
The best part? I got the kids involved too! They started with karate, but we were in the gym at the same time. Which meant they could see my face getting crushed into the mats and my neck being squeezed by my partner’s arms. This led to many questions, mainly centered around whether I was ok and if I liked it. While I can appreciate that these kinds of activities are not for everyone and that claims of taking a beating in jiu-jitsu being a good thing, may sound strange it is undoubtedly a great way to take out your frustration and keep calm around the kids.
