In CafeMom's monthly series, Work It, Mama, powerful moms detail how they navigate their professions and home life.
At the tender age of 15, Kristel Oreto was thrust into the world of tattooing by a friend, who snuck her into a shop while the owner was away. He let her assist on a tattoo, and from that moment on she was hooked.
āI had never seen a woman tattooer before ā I didnāt know that that was a thing,ā Oreto, a 25-year veteran tattoo artist and owner of Now and Forever Tattoo studio recalls to CafeMom of the beginning of her career.
He told her about the all-female tattoo artist convention that was coming near her hometown in Florida, and she convinced her parents to let her go.
āI went, I walked into the room, and organically I just knew this is what I was supposed to do.ā
After spending time with some of the top female tattooers in the world, she returned to her friend's shop and asked the owner there for an apprenticeship on the spot.
āThe owner told me straight up that the only reason a girl should be in the tattoo shop is if she is answering the phones or sucking d—.ā
It was the first of many misogynistic encounters Oreto would face in her long and successful career. As a mother of two grown children, Oreto is living proof that success isn't only possible in your 20s and motherhood will not "hold you back." In fact, it will fuel you.
It took Oreto traveling to three different counties to finally find a mentor who'd teach her.
When the owner introduced her to the resident artists, one of them threatened to quit on the spot if he took her on.
"Iāve had men laugh at me and say āIām not getting tattooed by a girl,'ā she tells us. "Iāve had male tattooers punch me in the face, male tattooers tell me Iām going to be nothing. … I have had everything possible known to mankind happen with male tattooers. It has been an absolutely crazy ride and I have never, ever let them get me down. Iāve let them see me cry a few times, but I still pushed through and Iām still here."
And the truth is, she's not planning to go anywhere else any time soon. Oreto is now the proud owner of Now and Forever Tattoo, an all-female employee tattoo studio in Philadelphia that aims to provide a safe space for women artists and clients alike.
Oreto's personal journey is weaved into her professional one. The young tattooer became a mom at just 18 years old and quickly added to her brood at just 19.
āNot a lot of places were supportive of me having kids. I had to work on the weekends and work later hours so it was really, really hard to juggle. And I was basically still a child. It took a lot of juggling. I made it work," she shares.
"The older [the kids] got they became more understanding," she continues. "When they were little there were several times where a babysitter canceled and I would take the kid to work with me, so they really got to understand the tattooing lifestyle and industry."
In fact, she'd argue that having her kids by her side throughout her "unconventional" career has made for a healthier relationship with them now that they're older.
"My son said something to me the other day. āIf you werenāt who you were we would never be able to be fully open and who we are today,āā she tearfully recalls.
As a woman and parent of a transgender queer son and a gay son, she felt it was her mission to create a safe space for everyone to get tattooed.
Because, sadly, the horror stories don't end with just female artists in shops. In her career, Oreto has focused largely on cover-ups, where she reworks poorly constructed tattoos or pieces that trigger negative memories and turns them into artworks that her clients can be proud of.
"[A] lot of the times when these women come to me, it is a cover-up of a cover-up," she divulges. "Most of the time the original cover-up was done by a male tattooer. He didnāt do a good job, and I would say half of the time the person says he tried to sexually assault them or he was saying sexually inappropriate things while he was tattooing them."
So during the pandemic of all time, Oreto decided to make her tattooing safe space a reality. And she did it in her own signature, scrappy way.
"My OnlyFans paid for it and is paying for the expansion," she says ā and by the way, she recently signed a 10-year lease on an official space. "I have taken all my OnlyFans money and in less than two years opened a business, which cost me $30k. I paid off my truck and a business expansion in less than two years."
It's a decision she has absolutely no quandary with, and she assures other moms they can make their dreams come true on their own terms. And although Oreto doesn't have much advice for managing day-to-day routines with kids as hers are grown, she does emphasize that if you pursue your passions, it'll only make your relationship better with them in the long run.
"My kids know that tattooing comes first," she admits. "It always has, always will. When they were younger they really didnāt understand. Now they are adults and they get it. My son is now starting his career and he recently told me, āI get it, I get everything you did when we were younger.ā
"Just be open with your kids about it. Itās gonna make a better open relationship with them and make them better adults to strive for the same type of goals youāre reaching for.ā
Now the safe space she needed as a young mother and tattoo artist is real, and she's already seeing the impact it's making.
"Our apprentice's father was terrified of her becoming an artist," she says, noting that he had heard so many stories of abuse in the industry. "He actually got me on FaceTime and said to me, 'Thank you for eliminating the problem.' We shouldn't have to eliminate the problem," she tearfully added.
Pushing through and working hard doesn't mean that you ignore yourself completely.
Oreto believes firmly in protecting your energy, knowing your own worth, and surrounding yourself with those who know the same.
āI do a lot of self care," she unapologetically states. "I am an empath and I absorb it all. Whether youāre doing an art project, lounging around or even cleaning the house, you have to take care of yourself. If you continue to go non-stop youāre going to crash. And then youāre going to want to give up. You have to pace yourself.ā
The advice she gave her children years ago is applicable to any working parent.
"I told them it was OK to be different," she says. "I knew my son was going to grow up and do makeup when he was 4 and was like, 'Aww man, you're going to do fabulous drag makeup when you get older.' I encouraged him and always told him to 'be you.'"
Oreto has seemingly followed her own advice when it comes to herself and her career, and she's thriving. We love to see it!
