Feeling loved as a girlfriend is much different than feeling loved after you have kids. The way that people feel loved varies from person to person and season to season. The “five love languages” that Gary Chapman outlines in his book of the same name are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
According to the book, Chapman believes that everyone has a primary love language and a secondary love language. These are the ways that we feel loved by our partner. This is a pretty well-established concept, but how about when you have kids? Many things change, including your expectations of your partner. Along with that, you may change how you think of being loved.
The evolution of your relationship is something that is constantly in motion
Words of affirmation is another area for me
When my husband voices appreciation for something that I’ve done, I feel proud and seen. I feel like my work is recognized and important. Whether this is hustling to get work done or cleaning around the house, this appreciation of what I do is invaluable, along with the “I love you’s.”
The bar may be set differently when it comes to feeling loved and appreciated, but that comes with feeling secure in a relationship.
My love languages still exist, but the things he does to meet them have changed
I do not need constant validation like I did when we were dating, but it is still helpful to do kind things and say kind things to each other. Remember your love languages, but realize that kids being added into the mix will affect your needs and how you feel loved, and that’s OK.
