My husband’s family owns a cabin in upstate New York. Before kids, my husband and I used to drive up there from the NYC metropolitan area each summer — sometimes multiple times in a summer. When our first child was born, one of the things we were looking forward to most was taking him upstate and letting him run wild on the trails, watching him dip his tiny toes in the lake.
The only problem was that our son hated car rides
And, yes, the way home was just as brutal
I can still hear my son’s blood-curdling cries.
Once we made it home, I told my husband, “Never again. I am never taking a baby on a long car ride again.” After having lived through two horrifying eight-hour car rides, he got it this time. But I wished I had listened to my instincts the first time.
After that horrible experience, I became much more clear with myself and with others that I had limits when it came to traveling with young kids. We didn’t do a long car ride with my son again until he was older and wasn’t such a nightmare in the car.
When our second son came along — who was a little more tolerant of the car, but not by much — I ended up breaking our upstate trip into two trips, with a stay overnight in a hotel. It sounds kind of nuts to do that for a day trip, but it was so much better, and we ended up enjoying a mini vacation in the Catskills before heading further upstate.
I still wished that I had listened to my own inner voice that first time, telling me that taking a baby who hates the car on a road trip was a terrible idea. But as a first-time parent, it was hard to know if I was making a smart choice or if I was acting out of an irrational fear. Plus, first-time parents experience so much pressure from family who seem to know better than them, that it can be hard to stand up and say what you need.
So, this is a message to all the other first-time parents who feel like traveling with their little one is just too much
And you don’t even have to have a baby who is as car-averse as mine was to set some limits. You are totally allowed to say, “I think we will have to pass this year.” Having a little one is hard, and you deserve the right to say what works and doesn’t work for you.
Before you know it, traveling will be easier. I promise. But until then, it’s totally OK if you want to keep things local. You don’t have to please everyone, and your child will be perfectly happy exploring the world around you before venturing out into the big, wide world.
