The short answer: Yes — experts say it’s reasonable and appropriate to ask other parents about cannabis storage and use before a playdate, framed as a standard safety question alongside guns, pools, and pets.
As parents, when we set up a playdate for our kids, we might run through a gamut of safety questions: Are there guns in the house, and if so, how are they stored? Who will be at the house or venue that may have access to your child? Will your child be able to safely reach you? Are there dogs or other pets present in the home?
It’s normal to want to protect our children from potential safety threats. But as marijuana becomes more commonplace in homes, with an average of 1 out of every 12 parents reporting regular weed use (and that number may increase with other people, like adult siblings) in the house, we can’t help but wonder: Should playdates involve a weed assessment?
Conversely, if you’re a regular weed user hosting kids in your home, what should you disclose to other parents? Do you tell other parents you consume? Do you ask if they do before your kid goes to their house? What is the etiquette guide for this moment? No one is talking about it, but it’s time we do.
Here’s what experts had to say about talking about cannabis use with other parents, or if you use yourself.
How to Ask About Cannabis at a Playdate (Without Making It Awkward)
Age-by-Age Guide: Talking to Kids About Cannabis
Reid-Vanas has a very clear and helpful guide to discussing cannabis based on the age of your child, especially if you consume yourself. “Short, factual and consistent information over time is way more effective than one big ‘drugs are bad’ conversation,” he explains. “Parents should not moralize but inform. Kids tune out lectures.”
Here are some age-specific conversation guides you can use:
Under age 7:
“That’s for grown-ups to use only.”
Ages 7-12:
“Some adults use weed, which is legal here but not safe for kids because your brain is still developing.”
Teens:
At this age, be more direct, for instance: “I use it, but the research on teen use is concerning. It can affect your memory, motivation, mental health, and physical health in ways it doesn’t for adults.”
If a teen expresses interest based on your own use or encountering weed at a friend’s house, Reid-Vanas also suggests that you approach the conversation from a choice-centered perspective, rather than simply telling them ‘no.’
For instance, you could say, “We’re asking you to wait until your brain is fully developed.” (Research shows that when setting boundaries this way, teens use weed less, Reid-Vanas notes.) Another strategy, he adds, if you consume yourself, is to own your choice without endorsing it for your teen. “I made this choice. Part of parenting means hoping you make better choices.”
Cannabis Safety Rules Every Parent Should Have in Place for Playdates
No matter which adult is consuming cannabis, yourself or another parent, basic safety parameters need to be in place to protect children. Reid-Vanas starting with the following guidelines:
- Don’t use when you’re supervising children. “Impaired supervision is not supervision,” he points out. “It’s obvious when driving, but it is also when watching them and being able to respond in case of an emergency.”
- Know your own reactions. “Edibles can have delayed, intense effects,” he explains. “Internal rules should be in place when kids are around.”
- Disclose your own use and its safety/storage. “Make it known you are open to questions,” Reid-Vanas says when disclosing to parents..
- Store all cannabis products in a locked, clearly labeled, child-resistant area.
- Be mindful of edibles and treat them like prescription medications.
- Make sure you check the car to remove remnants.
- Know poison control numbers.
- Check state and local laws because there are some legal implications around use near minors.
Last, but not least, Reid-Vanas says that if weed use is affecting your parenting, or the parenting of someone you know, treat it like you would alcohol and seek support. The good thing about parenting is that you never have to do the hard stuff alone.
FAQs
Q: Is it rude to ask if parents use marijuana before a playdate?
A: No — experts say it’s completely reasonable. Dr. Clint Salo, DO, a psychiatrist at The Grove Recovery Community, recommends framing it as a safety question rather than an accusation. Most parents respond well when cannabis storage is grouped with other standard safety questions about pools, pets, and guns.
Q: Should I tell other parents I use weed before hosting a playdate?
A: Yes. Therapist Cory Reid-Vanas, LMFT, advises disclosing your use and making clear that you’re open to questions about storage and safety. He recommends building a standard pre-playdate safety script that naturally includes cannabis alongside other household safety topics.
Q: How do I store cannabis safely when kids are in the house?
A: All cannabis products — including edibles — should be stored in a locked, clearly labeled, child-resistant area, and treated like prescription medications. Reid-Vanas also advises checking your car for any remnants, knowing your local poison control number, and never supervising children while impaired. He notes that edibles require extra caution due to their delayed, intense effects.
Q: At what age should I talk to my kids about marijuana?
A: Reid-Vanas offers a clear age-by-age guide. For children under 7, a simple “that’s for grown-ups only” is enough. Ages 7–12 can handle a factual explanation about why cannabis isn’t safe for developing brains. Teens should get a more direct conversation — including about how it can affect memory, motivation, and mental health in ways it doesn’t for adults. He emphasizes short, consistent conversations over time rather than one big lecture.
