It's been a decade now since I browsed my closet of tailored dresses and fashionable shoes, selecting just the right outfit for the next day of meetings. It's been a decade since I started my mornings with a quiet commute. It's been a long, long time since I sat at a desk prioritizing emails and calculating goals.
Ten years ago, I exchanged all of that for yoga pants and morning baby snuggles, meetings on the couch with library books and walks to the playground.
Needless to say, my life as a stay-at-home mom has changed my day-to-day life. A lot.
When I was pursuing a career and working in an office, I desperately wanted to be home with my daughter. Becoming a stay-at-home mom was my dream. The ultimate goal.
Everything I did was pushing toward that hopeful reality
But that doesn’t make it easy
It doesn’t put on paper that I am an achiever. A hard worker. A go-getter.
It does not award me with a paycheck and it does not give me due vacation or sick leave.
I adore being a SAHM. I still 100% believe it is my dream come true. If presented with the opportunity to return to an office setting, I would almost certainly turn it down. But, as human nature dictates, I find myself glancing at the greener grass.
What if …
What if, tomorrow, a nanny arrived and I left in my favorite purple floral shift from Ann Taylor Loft and the dusty black pumps that currently reside in the back of my closet?
Would I be happier? More fulfilled?
Or is it just wishful thinking? Would I wish myself right back where I am now?
Yes, I think so. I know so.
So, I will tell myself I am content here — in my life, my dream, as a SAHM. I will find a new home for those faithful black pumps. I will schedule a night out with my girlfriends, so I can visit and eat without cutting someone else’s food. I will jot down a list of things I am grateful for and I will ponder what makes me a top-notch SAHM. Perhaps even set myself some goals.
I might wish I had a real job again, but I know I’m doing the work I was meant to do. And that is enough.
